I had to go round next door and look after my neighbour’s cat while he was away.
Now there’s a great pile of crap and a puddle of wee on his kitchen floor.
Hopefully, he’ll think the cat did it.
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Q: What is worst than raining black cats and bloodhounds?
A: Hailing taxi cabs!
Q: What is a zebra?
A: A horse behind bars.
There are bats hanging of a branch upside down, all except one.
Two bats comment: "What's happened to this one?
I don't know, two minutes ago he seemed normal and then he fainted.
Q: How does a blonde kill a worm?
A: She burys it.
Giraffes were invented when Chuck Norris laid an uppercut to a horse.
Vote:
What do you get when you cross a bumble bee with a rabbit?
A honey bunny.
A old snake goes to see his Doctor.
"Doc, I need something for my eyes...can't see well these days".
The Doc fixes him up with a pair of glasses and tells him to return in 2 weeks.
The snake comes back in 2 weeks and tells the doctor he's very depressed.
Doc says, "What's the problem...didn't the glasses help you?"
"The glasses are fine doc, I just discovered I've been living with a water hose the past 2 years!"
Why did the whale like the diver?
Because he had flippers.
Why did the farmer feed money to his cow?
He wanted rich milk.
Three blondes were walking through a field when they came across a set of tracks.
The first blonde looked down at the tracks and said, "I think they could be bird tracks."
The second blonde went to look and said, "No, I think these are deer tracks."
They stepped aside and the third blonde went over to the tracks.
She looked down, then got run over by the train!