Joke #10194

What do you call a man with a rabbit up his jumper? Warren.
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has 35.73 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: animal

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A little kid gets on a city bus, sits right behind the driver, and starts talking loudly, "If my dad was a bull and my mom a cow, I'd be a little bull." The driver gets annoyed as the kids continues to yammer on. "If my dad was an rooster and my mom a hen, I would be a little chick." The kid goes on and on with all the animals he knows, when finally, the bus driver yells, "What if your dad was a bum and your mom was a drunk?" The kid smiles and says, "I'd be a bus driver."
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has 56.81 % from 87 votes. More jokes about: animal, dad, kids
According to leading scientists, the deadliest animal on the planet is the Bearded Norris.
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has 39.64 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, science
There was a man driving a pickup truck down a country road, when suddenly he was broad sided by a trailer truck. Some time went by, and the case got to court. The defense attorney said to the plaintiff, "How can you be suing my client now when you told a trooper after the accident that you felt fine?" The man replied. "Well sir, it was like this. We was driving down the road, minding our own business, when a big trailer truck came out of nowhere and creamed us. When I came to, I was in the ditch, and a trooper was pulling up with his car. He looked at the hogs, and they was most dead, so he shot them. Then he looked at my dog, and he was hurt real bad, so he shot him." Then he came over to me and he said, "How you feeling?" I said, "I never felt better in my life."
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has 73.60 % from 86 votes. More jokes about: animal, dog, lawyer, life
How are skunks able to avoid danger? By using their instinks and common scents.
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has 56.86 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal
The Karate Kid killed caught a fly with two chopsticks, Chuck Norris killed a rhino with one.
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has 37.92 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, death, sport
My tomcat used to stay out all night, so I took him to the vet and had him neutered. Now he still stays out all night – it turns out he likes to watch!
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has 44.24 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: animal
Why don't lobsters share? They re shellfish.
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has 58.52 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: animal, fish
Go to your back door and look for the dog. If the dog is at the door and he is wet, it's probably raining. But if the dog is standing there really soaking wet, it is probably raining really hard. If the dog's fur looks like it's been rubbed the wrong way, it's probably windy. If the dog has snow on his back, it's probably snowing. Of course, to be able to tell the weather like this, you have to leave the dog outside all the time, especially if you expect bad weather. Yours sincerely,  The CAT
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has 54.77 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: animal, cat, weather
They say animal behavior can warn you when an earthquake is coming. Like the night before that last earthquake hit, our family dog took the car keys and drove to Arizona.
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has 44.24 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: animal
I threw a ball for my dog... It's a bit extravagant I know, but it was his birthday and he looks great in a dinner jacket.
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has 54.08 % from 122 votes. More jokes about: animal, birthday, dog, food