What did Cinderella Dolphin where to the ball?
Glass flippers.
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Chuck Norris can stick his hand inside a rabbit's mouth and pull out a HAT!
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Two women are on a transcontinental balloon voyage.
Their craft is engulfed in fog, their compass gone awry.
Afraid of landing in the ocean, they drift for days.
Suddenly, the clouds part to show a sunlit meadow below.
As they descend, they see a man walking his dog.
One of the flyers yells to the figure far below, "Where are we?"
The man yells back, "About a half mile from town."
Once again, the balloonists are engulfed in the mist.
One flyer says to the other, "He must have been a lawyer."
The other says, "A lawyer! How do you know that?"
The first says, "That’s easy. The information he gave us was accurate, concise, and entirely irrelevant."
Why did Bossy tell the cowpoke to leave her calf alone?
She thought children should be seen and not herded!
Yo mama so stupid that she mourned wen we slaughtered a goat for Cristmas.
Chuck Norris doesn't sleep with a teddy bear.
He sleeps with a real bear.
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What is the last thing to go through a bug's mind when it hits your windshield?
It's ass.
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What kind of bees make milk instead of honey?
Boobies.
Two cows were talking in the field.
One cow says, "Have you heard about the Mad Cow disease that's going around?"
The other cow answers, "Yeah, makes you glad you're a penguin, doesn"t it?"
Chuck Norris once rode a bull threw a China shop, the only thing that broke was the bull.
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