Don’t spend money having your shirts laundered.
Donate them to a charity shop, then when they’ve cleaned them, buy them back.
Similar jokes
See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.
Q: How do you kill 1000 Jews at once?
A: Throw a dollar off a cliff.
If you want to know God’s opinion of money just look at the people He gave it to.
What leads most people into debt?
Trying to catch up with people who are already there.
What's six inches long and two inches wide and drives women wild?
Money.
An old couple is at a fair an the old man sees a helicopter ride for $50.
The old man asks his wife, "I don't have much time left. Can I take I ride in one of them helicopters?"
His wife responds, "Oh well that's way too expensive."
The man running the helicopter rides as a pilot hears their conversation and makes them a deal.
"Hey, I'll take you on a ride for free, but you can't make one sound. If you do, then you have to pay $50." says the pilot.
The couple climbs in the helicopter.
The pilot takes off and does awesome tricks with the helicopter.
The couple never made a sound.
The pilot lands the helicopter and says, "Wow, impressive, usually people make so much noise on these rides."
The old man says, "Well, I almost made a noise when my wife fell out of the helicopter, but these rides are too expensive."
Vote:
Insurance companies are trying to set new guidelines before approving Viagra coverage.
What will they use to set those guidelines?
A growth chart.
Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how popular it remains?
If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
During the wedding rehearsal, the groom approached the Bishop with an unusual offer:
"Look, I'll give you $100 if you'll change the wedding vows.
When you get to the part where I'm supposed to promise to 'love, honor and obey' and 'be faithful to her forever,' I'd appreciate it if you'd just leave that out."
He passed the minister a $100 bill and walked away satisfied.
On the day of the wedding, when it came time for the groom's vows, the Bishop looked the young man in the eye and said:
"Will you promise to prostrate yourself before her, obey her every command and wish, serve her breakfast in bed every morning of your life, and swear eternally before God and your lovely wife that you will not ever even look at another woman, as long as you both shall live?"
The groom gulped and looked around, and said in a tiny voice, "Yes," then leaned toward the Bishop and hissed:
"I thought we had a deal."
The Bishop put a $100 bill into the groom's hand and whispered: "She made me a better offer."
Q: What did the fool do with his first 50 cent piece?
A: He Married Her
Vote:
Ad from a printer I will not be doing business with: "We offer a full line of pricing options that will meet or exceed your printing budget."
Vote: