Joke #4528

Don’t spend money having your shirts laundered. Donate them to a charity shop, then when they’ve cleaned them, buy them back.

A couple returns from their honeymoon refusing to speak to each other. The groom's best friend takes him aside and asks what's wrong. "Well," replies the man, "when we finished making love on the first night, I put a $50 bill on the pillow without thinking." "Oh, you shouldn't worry about that too much," says his friend. "I'm sure your wife will get over it soon enough. She can't expect you to have been saving yourself all these years." "That's not the problem, " the groom says. "She gave me $20 change!"

Yo mama so poor she bragged about the time she almost ate at a restaraunt.

Why did the millionaire count his money with his toes? So it wouldn't slip through his fingers!

You know who's mad at Kobe? Every other player in the NBA. You know why? Cause he messed around on his wife and bought her a $4 million ring. Yeah, you know what that means: that's the new minimum. Cause you know how women are, man. Women get upset: "Oh, really, what's this? A $1 million ring? What - did that bitch get my $3 million, too?"

Q: What do the Jews hate most about the Holocaust? A: The cost.

Your mom is so stupid she thought Nickelback was a refund.

I like black people . . . . . I used to have some black friends 'till my dad sold them!

How many bankers does it take to change a light bulb? Four. One to hold the bulb, and three to try and remember the combination.

Two boys were arguing when the teacher entered the room. The teacher says, "Why are you arguing?" One boy answers, "We found a ten dollor bill and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie." "You should be ashamed of yourselves," said the teacher, "When I was your age I didn't even know what a lie was." The boys gave the ten dollars to the teacher.

Uncle Harry is very rich. His dog was lonely so he bought it a boy to play with. ‘He’s spending a year dead for tax purposes.’ Douglas Adams