"Hello"
"Hello"
"Is that you, James?"
"Yes, this is James."
"Are you sure this is James."
"Yes I'm sure, this is James!"
"This is Robert... can you lend me twenty dollars?"
"I'll tell James when he comes in."
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Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow they take away your credit card.
Yo momma is so poor for Christmas she got a box, put two sticks on it, spun it and said son here's your xbox 360.
How do you start a Jewish parade?
Throw a penny down main street.
Q: Why did the programmer quit his job?
A: Because he didn't get arrays.
Vote:
What I want to know is how did a fool and his money get together in the first place?
The parish priest needs his house painted so he offers the job to one of his altar boys.
The first day the kid paints the entire inside of the house, he’s sweating like hell but eventually gets it finished.
The priest commends him on the work and with a flourish hands him a £5.00 note.
The boy looks at the money and says to the priest, "Thanks very much Father,...you’re a virgin."
The priest is a bit startled but makes no remark.
The next day the boy has to paint the outside of the house; it’s a really hot day and he just manages to finish the job without collapsing.
The priest looks at the job and this time gives the lad another £5.00 note.
Once again the lad looks at the money and says, "Thanks very much Father, you really are a virgin."
At this stage the priest decides to take action.
"Tommy," he says, "that’s twice you’ve called me a virgin. Do you have any idea what the word means?"
"Yes," says the kid, "a tight cunt."
A boy asked his bitcoin-investing dad for 1 bitcoin for his birthday.
Dad: What? $15,554??? $14,354 is a lot of money! What do you need $16,782 for anyway?
Yo momma is so poor she ran after a trash can truck with her shoping list.
Living on earth may be expensive, but it includes an annual free trip around the sun.