Wife to husband: ‘When I married you you said you had an ocean-going yacht!’
Husband: ‘Shut up and row.’
Similar jokes
See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.
A couple returns from their honeymoon refusing to speak to each other.
The groom's best friend takes him aside and asks what's wrong.
"Well," replies the man, "when we finished making love on the first night, I put a $50 bill on the pillow without thinking."
"Oh, you shouldn't worry about that too much," says his friend.
"I'm sure your wife will get over it soon enough. She can't expect you to have been saving yourself all these years."
"That's not the problem, " the groom says. "She gave me $20 change!"
How did Barack propose to Michelle?
He got on one knee, pulled out a ring, and said "I don't wanna be obamaself."
Why are men with pierced ears are better prepared for marriage?
They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
My wife said to me, "For our anniversary I want to go somewhere I've never been before."
So I said, "Try the kitchen!"
Vote:
Joke has 71.88 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: anniversary, communication, marriage, mean, travel
“A happy marriage is nothing but a give and take relationship; the husband gives and the wife takes.”
Vote:
A woman is standing looking in the bedroom mirror…
She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, “I feel horrible;
I look old, fat and ugly… I really need you to pay me a compliment.”
The husband replies, “Your eyesight’s damn near perfect.”
I like a big, strong, hardworking man, a man who wakes up early in the morning eager to work hard.
I'm talking day-in and day-out just working and sweating and sweating and working, and when it's all over, he showers and goes to his job.
Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do?
Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.
Vote:
My wife and I have the secret to making a marriage last.
Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant and have a little wine and good food.
She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
"So let me get this straight," the prosecutor says to the defendant, "you came home from work early and found your wife in bed with a strange man."
"That's correct," says the defendant.
"Upon which," continues the prosecutor, "you take out a pistol and shoot your wife, killing her."
"That's correct," says the defendant.
"Then my question to you is, why did you shoot your wife and not her lover?" asked the prosecutor.
"It seemed easier," replied the defendant, "than shooting a different man every day!"