Joke #4805

Two brooms are getting married. Before the ceremony, the bride broom says to the groom broom, "I think I'm going to have a whisk." The groom broom says, "How can that be possible? We haven't even swept together!"
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has 75.22 % from 175 votes. More jokes about: marriage

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A wife and her husband were sleeping, in the middle of the night, the husband farted. Next morning the guy told his wife: "Last night I dreamed that I've bought a Mercedes!" His wife said: "That is right and you tootled for me."
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has 83.32 % from 1383 votes. More jokes about: car, fart, marriage
A husband and wife are having financial troubles. They agree she should walk the streets to pick up some extra cash. The husband drops his wife off in the red light area of town, and returns 6 hours later. She gets in the car and says, "Look, I made $40.50 !" "What jerk gave you 50 cents?" he asks. "All of them!"
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has 65.54 % from 175 votes. More jokes about: husband, marriage, money, time, wife
Husband to wife: ‘You have a flat chest and hairy legs. Tell me, have you ever been mistaken for a man?’ ‘No,’ replies his wife. ‘Have you?’
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has 39.94 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: marriage
"Will you marry me?" Is a marriage proposal. "Will, You, Mary, Me" is a foursome proposal.
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has 56.78 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: marriage, sex, wedding
Two guys were discussing popular family trends on sex, marriage, and values. Stuart said, "I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married, did you?" Leroy replied, "I'm not sure, what was her maiden name?
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has 75.26 % from 148 votes. More jokes about: dirty, family, marriage, sex, wife
I got really love sick the other day working away from home. Went to the doctors and they said it was chlamydia.
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has 25.67 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: doctor, marriage
Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; and then it was too late."
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has 85.15 % from 243 votes. More jokes about: marriage
Girl: When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden. Boy: It's very kind of you, darling, But I don't have any worries or troubles. Girl: Well that's because we aren't married yet.
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has 82.91 % from 217 votes. More jokes about: marriage
A guy buys his first motorcycle. The dealer tells him to keep a jar of Vaseline handy to rub on the chrome before it rains to prevent rusting. A few months later, the young man's girlfriend invites him to dinner at her parents' house. Before they go in, she explains their family tradition that whomever speaks first after dinner must do the dishes. After dinner, everyone sits in silence waiting for the first person to break. After 15 minutes, the young man decides to speed things up. He leans over and kisses his woman in front of her family. No one says a word. Emboldened, he throws her on the table and has sex with her. Silence. Desperate, he grabs her mother and has sex with her on the table. Suddenly, they hear thunder rumble in the distance. The guy thinks of his bike and, instinctively, pulls the jar of Vaseline out of his pocket. "OK, OK," says the father, "I'll do the dishes!"
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has 61.70 % from 230 votes. More jokes about: dad, family, marriage, sex, weather
As a couple gets into bed, the husband starts to rub and kiss his wife. She turns over and says, "I'm sorry, honey. I've got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow, and I want to stay fresh." The husband sadly turns over. A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his wife. "Do you have a dentist appointment, too?"
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has 85.49 % from 1498 votes. More jokes about: marriage