Joke #4553

Mothers have Mother's Day and fathers have Father's Day. What do single guys have? Palm Sunday.

Q: What is the most confusing day in Harlem? A: Father's Day.

Sometimes I wonder if I'm pregnant and then I realize I would have to be like 19 months pregnant.

Happy Father's Day to the top three most likely candidates.

Which is the most confusing day in America? Father's day! 80% don't know whom to wish. Rest 20% are scared someone will come and wish them.

Happy Father's Day to someome who's been completely replaced in his marriage by Fifty Shades of Grey.

"Dad, your Father's Day gift is another year of not having to pay for my wedding."

If your right leg was Halloween and the other one was Christmas I would have come visit you between the holidays.

A guy stuck his head into a barbershop and asked, "How long before I can get a haircut?" The barber looked around the shop full of customers and said, "About 2 hours." The guy left. A few days later, the same guy stuck his head in the door and asked, "How long before I can get a haircut?" The barber looked around at the shop and said, "About 3 hours." The guy left. A week later, the same guy stuck his head in the shop and asked, "How long before I can get a haircut?" The barber looked around the shop and said, "About an hour and a half." The guy left. The barber turned to his friend and said, "Hey, Bob, do me a favor, follow him and see where he goes. He keeps asking how long he has to wait for a haircut, but he never comes back." A little while later, Bob returned to the shop, laughing hysterically. The barber asked, "So, where does he go when he leaves?" Bob looked up, wiped the tears from his eyes and said, "Your house!"

Men and women can be friends without any sex involved. It's called marriage.

What is the perfect Father's Day gift? Taking your Mom away on a vacation with you.