Joke #4554

What’s the definition of a Yankee? Same thing as a ‘quickie’ but you do it yourself.
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has 40.46 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: sex

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Suzy asked her big sister Samantha how babies are made. Samantha explains it to her. "I still don't get it? Can you show me." Suzy says. "OK. Tonight, I will let you watch will my boyfriend, Jack and I screw." That night, Jack laid Samantha 5 times but Suzy still didn't understand. The next night Jack was tired of Suzy watching so he offered to have sex with her. "OK but I don't want Samantha to watch" So Samantha went outside. They are in there for almost an hour and when they come out Jack is smiling like crazy. "That was fun but I still don't get it." Says Suzy The next day the same thing happened. And the next day. Finally 2 weeks later Samantha comes home crying. "Whats wrong," Suzy says. "Jack dumped me. He said there was someone better." Said Samantha. "Let's go talk to him maybe we can change his mind," said Suzy. When they got there Jack said he made up his mind and there was nothing they could do to change it. Then he asked to speak to Suzy privately. He pulled off all of Suzy's clothes and started to screw her. "OK," Jack said kissing Suzy's neck "I broke up with Samantha now tell me how you got to be so good in bed." "Fine." She replied, "I asked all my other sisters how babies are made."
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has 69.45 % from 85 votes. More jokes about: baby, kids, sex, stupid, time
Paddy and his two friends are talking at a bar. His first friend says: "I think my wife is having an affair with the electrician. The other day I came home and found wire cutters under our bed and they weren't mine." His second friend says: "I think my wife is having an affair with the plumber. The other day I found a wrench under the bed and it wasn't mine." Paddy says: "I think my wife is having an affair with a horse." Both his friends look at him with utter disbelief. "No, I'm serious. The other day I came home and found a jockey under our bed."
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has 75.73 % from 94 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, animal, bar, sex, wife
Q: What do gay guys have in common with bungee jumpers? A: If the rubber breaks, they're in deep shit!
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has 73.37 % from 94 votes. More jokes about: death, dirty, gay, sex, sport
A man limps into a bar with a cane and alligator. The bartender stops him and says "Hold on a second here - you can't bring that animal in here, they aren't allowed!" So the man says, "But my gator here does a really cool trick..." The bartender says "Well then, lets see!" So the man whips out his dick and shoves it in the gators mouth. He then takes his cane and starts bashing the gator in the head with it. A crowd gathers around and everyone is astonished when he pulls out his dick without a single scratch. He looks around at the crowd and says, "Does anyone else want to try?" An old lady raises her hand and says..."Sure, but don't hit me with that stick."
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has 64.52 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, animal, bar, sex
What’s the sex? The sex in a disease. You always get in bed because of it.
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has 31.42 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: health, sex
Kock, Knock Who is there? Suck, suck. Suck, suck who? After a long pause with a low voice: My dick; dear!
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has 23.04 % from 123 votes. More jokes about: dirty, knock-knock, sex
‘I’m a bad lover. Once I caught a peeping Tom booing me.’ Rodney Dangerfield
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has 47.63 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: sex
Remember my name, because you'll be screaming it later!
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has 60.01 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: dirty, flirt, memory, sex, time
A man and his wife agreed on a code to use in front of their kids when they want to have s*x. The code is: "Making a call." One day the man ask his son to tell his mother, that dad wants to make a phone call. The boy returns to his dad, that mom says she is out of order. Then he ask him to tell her, that dad will go outside to make a phone call. The boy returns, that mom says, "If you do so, she will open a central telephone station in the house."
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has 60.76 % from 59 votes. More jokes about: kids, marriage, phone, sex, wife
Yo' Mama is so skanky, when yo' daddy suggested doggie style, she laid down and licked her balls.
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has 45.52 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: dad, insulting, sex, Yo mama