What did the elephant say to the nude man?
‘It’s cute, but can it pick up peanuts?’
Similar jokes
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I walked in on my girlfriend having sex with her fitness trainer.
Me: "Okay, this isn't working out."
Q: What does it mean if you were born in September?
A: That your parents started the new year with a bang!
Q: Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?
A: A mosquito stops sucking when you slap it...
Did you hear about the fellow that was talking to his buddy, when he said, "I don't know what to get my wife for her birthday.
She has everything, and besides, she can afford to buy anything she wants.
So, I'm stumped." His buddy said, "I have an idea.
Why don't you make up a certificate that says she can have two hours of great sex, any way she wants it.
She'll probably be thrilled!"
So the first fella did just that.
The next day his buddy asked, "Well, did you take my suggestion?
How did it turn out?"
"She loved it.
She jumped up, thanked me, kissed me on the mouth, and ran out the door yelling, 'I'll see you in two hours'."
Q: What food diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%?
A: Her wedding cake.
Yo moma so fat that when I tried to have sex with her I burned my ass off the lightbulb.
Wife comes back from the doctor and says to her husband:
Honey, I have a sad news - a gynecologist told me not have sex for a three weeks...
Husband:
And what the dentist said?
What do nostalgic gynaecologists do?
Look up old friends.
Happy Father's Day to someome who's been completely replaced in his marriage by Fifty Shades of Grey.
Vote:
Why Chocolate Is Better Than Sex:
- You can GET chocolate.
- Chocolate satisfies even when it's gone soft.
- You can safely have chocolate while you are driving.
- You can have chocolate in in public.
- If you bite the nuts, the chocolate won't mind.
- The word "commitment" doesn't scare off chocolate.
- You don't get hairs in your mouth with chocolate.
- No need to fake your enjoyment of chocolate.
- Chocolate doesn't make you pregnant.
- You can have chocolate at any time of the month.
- You are never too young or too old for chocolate.
- Size doesn't matter - though more is still better.