Joke #4584

What did the elephant say to the nude man? ‘It’s cute, but can it pick up peanuts?’
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Advice for office managers: Keep the sexual harassment complaint forms in the bottom drawer. That way, when she goes to get one you'll get a great view of her arse.
Vote: has 69.45 % from 100 votes. Send joke:

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What is special about a dead baby over all other forms of life? You can achieve deep throat from whichever way you enter.
Vote: has 18.76 % from 183 votes. Send joke:

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Worst way to ask for anal: "Aww come on...I bet my dick is tiny compared to some of the shits you've taken!"
Vote: has 60.22 % from 194 votes. Send joke:

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What happened when the blonde tried to give her boyfriend a blow-job while he was driving? They both fell off the motorcycle.
Vote: has 61.56 % from 87 votes. Send joke:

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Yo mama's so fat that, after sex I rolled over twice and was still on the bitch!
Vote: has 61.63 % from 122 votes. Send joke:

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What’s the definition of a Yankee? Same thing as a ‘quickie’ but you do it yourself.
Vote: has 40.15 % from 44 votes. Send joke:

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GOD said, “Adam, I want you to do something for me.” “Gladly, Lord,” replied Adam. “What do you want me to do?” “Go down into the valley.” “What’s a valley?” asked Adam. God explained to him, then said, Cross the river.” “What’s a river?” God explained it to him, and then continued, “Go over the hill…”. “What’s a hill?” God explained to Adam what a hill was, then said, “On the other side of the hill, you will find a cave.” “What’s a cave?” After God explained, he said, “In the cave you will find a woman.” Adam asked, “What’s a woman?” So God explained that to him too. He continued, “I want you to reproduce.” “How do I do that?” “Jeez,” God muttered under his breath. He then sighed and explained the birds and the bees to Adam. He liked that concept very much, so he went down into the valley, across the river, over the hill and into the cave where he found a woman.” A little while later, Adam returned and asked God, “What’s a headache?”
Vote: has 70.38 % from 80 votes. Send joke:

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I dont understand why people say sex is good in the shower. How do you guys not get your laptop wet?
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A little girl and boy are fighting about the differences between the sexes, and which one is better. Finally, the boy drops his pants and says, “Here’s something I have that you’ll never have!” The little girl is pretty upset by this, since it is clearly true, and runs home crying. A while later, she comes running back with a smile on her face. She drops her pants and says, “My mommy says that with one of these, I can have as many of those as I want!”
Vote: has 80.38 % from 2580 votes. Send joke:

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A father and his 6-year-old son are walking down the street, and they come across two dogs having sex. The boy is shocked by what he sees and asks his father "Daddy, what are they doing?" The father, not wanting to lie to his son, says "they're just making a puppy." "OK" says the son, and the father is relieved that he doesn't probe further. The next day, the son bursts into his parents' room and sees them having sex. The father jumps up and quickly covers himself. Knowing he's in for an interesting talk, walks downstairs with him and they sit at the dining room table. His son asks him "Daddy, what were you and mommy doing?" Again, wanting to be honest with his son, he says "me and mommy were making a baby." His son pauses for a moment, thinking, and then replies "flip mommy over, I want a puppy!"
Vote: has 86.63 % from 3097 votes. Send joke:

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