A couple have been dating for a few weeks, but the guy has been afraid of making advances because he thinks his penis is on the small side.
Finally, he gets up his courage and takes her down lovers’ lane. While they’re kissing, he opens his trouser zip and guides her hand onto his organ.
‘No thanks,’ says the girl. ‘I don’t smoke.’
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Q: What type of bees make milk?
A: Boo-bees.
A trucker who has been out on the road for two months stops at a brothel outside Atlanta.
He walks straight up to the Madam, drops down $500 and says, "I want your ugliest woman and a grilled cheese sandwich!"
The Madam is astonished.
"But sir, for that kind of money you could have one of my prettiest ladies and a three-course meal."
The trucker replies, "Listen darlin’, I’m not horny – I’m just homesick."
A boy went into a hoare house and said he wanted an AIDS's infected prostitute.
The woman at reception said room 9 top of the hall.
He went to the room and did his business.When he was leaving she asked him why he wanted her she being aids infected.
The boy answered,"When I go home i'll sleep with the babysitter then my dad will sleep with the babysitter then my dad will sleep with my mam then in the morning my mam will fuck the milkman and thats the BASTARD that ran over my dog.
This desperate guy named Jim goes to the whorehouse with 5$.
He buys a the cheapest prostitute named Sandpaper Sally.
As they start to have sex, Jim screams, "Ouch! Now I know why they call you Sandpaper Sally!"
Sally scoots out of the room.
Five minutes later she came back and Jim attempts sex once again.
"What the hell happened?" asks Jim, "This is the best sex I''ve ever had!"
Sally replies, "Oh, I just picked my scabs."
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How can you tell if your girlfriend’s frigid?
When you open her legs, the lights go on.
How did Pinocchio find out he was made of wood?
When his hand caught fire.
The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette.
I hope you're into yoga, cause you're going to get a good stretch tonight.
Are you a candle?
Because I want to blow you.
Having sex is like playing bridge.
If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
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