A couple have been dating for a few weeks, but the guy has been afraid of making advances because he thinks his penis is on the small side.
Finally, he gets up his courage and takes her down lovers’ lane. While they’re kissing, he opens his trouser zip and guides her hand onto his organ.
‘No thanks,’ says the girl. ‘I don’t smoke.’
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Roses are red
violets are blue,
I have never tried
So can I stick it up you?
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An elderly couple met for a romp in the broom closet at the nursing home.
They undressed and were about to screw, The woman decided to warn the man of her heart condition.
"I should tell you, I have acute angina" she said.
The man replied, "thats good because you have the ugliest breasts I ever seen!"
A girl married with a man who had only one foot.
Next day her mother rang her and asked: "My little tell me how did U feel the marriage?"
Her daughter replied: "Woo real splendid; alas he has only one foot!"
Her mom answered: "You must be too lucky, when I married your dad; he had only one inch!"
I walked in on my girlfriend having sex with her fitness trainer.
Me: "Okay, this isn't working out."
My girlfriend always laughs during sex – no matter what she’s reading.
I'm like happy meal.
"Coz you are small and pretty?"
"No, coz I always c*m with a toy inside.
Do you like maths?
If so add a bed subtract your clothes divide your legs and we can multiply!
Are you a shark?
Cause I've got some swimmers for you to swallow.
Q: What food diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%?
A: Her wedding cake.
Question: If you went to a party and woke up with a condom in your ass would you tell anyone?
Answer: No!
Response: Wanna go to a party?
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