A man says to his wife, ‘You know what, two inches more and I’d be king.’
She replies, ‘Two inches less and you’d be queen.’
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It isn’t premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married.
A 6 year old boy asks his daddy:
Daddy, where did I come from to this life?
You were brought by a stork.
That's strange, you have such a pretty wife, but nevertheless you're fucking a stork.
I'm no weather man, but you can expect more than a few inches tonight.
A punk rocker gets on the bus with green, yellow, purple and orange hair.
An old guy sitting on the bus stares at him, and the punk says, "What's the matter, old man, didn't you ever do anything wild in your life?"
And the old man says, "Yeah, one time I fucked a parrot. I thought maybe you were my kid."
Yo' Mama is so fat, you have to slap her thigh and ride the wave in to have sex with her.
What is special about a dead baby over all other forms of life?
You can achieve deep throat from whichever way you enter.
Why do women fake orgasms?
Because they think men care.
What´s the difference between a goodyear and a fucking good year? 365 condoms.
I hope you're into yoga, cause you're going to get a good stretch tonight.