A man says to his wife, ‘You know what, two inches more and I’d be king.’
She replies, ‘Two inches less and you’d be queen.’
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Advice for office managers: Keep the sexual harassment complaint forms in the bottom drawer.
That way, when she goes to get one you'll get a great view of her arse.
A king wants his daughter to have a husband so he puts up a flier.
The first guy comes and the king puts green glitter on his daughters private part.
The next mornning the king checks the guys private part and there's green glitter all over it.
More and more guys come along and the same thing keeps happening.
Finally, one day this guy comes along.
The king puts the green glitter on his daughters private part, and the next mornning checks the guys privates and there was no green glitter.
The king is thrilled and offers the man his daughters hand in marriage.
The guy smiles to accept with a mouth full of green glitter.
My girlfriend has incredible sexual skills.
I almost had a heart attack when I saw the video!
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It isn’t premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married.
In an elementary school, the teacher gives school work to the class.
Everybody writes except little John.
The teacher asks him: John, why aren’t you writing?
I’m exhausted because of sex.
That should not be a problem, write with your left hand.
Little Johnny: "Dad why your dick's hairs are black but the hairs of your head are are going to be white?"
Dad: "My dear the first one is thinking but the second is enjoying."
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Q: What do you call a cat that wants to have sex?
A: freak.
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What's the difference between a mosquito and a woman?
When you slap a mosquito it stops sucking.
Q: What do Blondes say after sex?
A1: Thanks Guys.
A2: Are you boys all in the same band?
A3: Do you guys all play for the Green Bay Packers?
What do a clitoris, an anniversary, and a toilet have in common?
Men always miss them.
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