A man says to his wife, ‘You know what, two inches more and I’d be king.’
She replies, ‘Two inches less and you’d be queen.’
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Q: Why do bunnies have soft sex?
A: They have cotton balls.
Q: How is spinach like anal sex?
A: Chances are if you're forced to have it as a child you are probably going to hate it as an adult.
My penis was in the Guiness Book of Records... until the librarian kicked me out.
Virginity like bubble, one prick all gone.
Q: Why did dinosaurs have sex under water?
A: You try to keep five hundred pounds of pussy wet!
Robinson came home in great excitement and said to his wife, “You’ll never believe it, dear, but I’ve discovered an entirely new position for lovemaking.”
“Really,” said Mrs. Robinson, interested at once. “What is it?”
“Back to back.”
“But that’s crazy. We can’t do anything back to back.”
“Yes we can. I’ve persuaded another couple to help out.”
The woman was in bed with her lover and had just told him how stupid her Irish husband was when the door was thrown open and there stood her husband.
He glared at her lover and bellowed, "What are you doing?"
"There," said the wife, "didn’t I tell you he was stupid?"
Q. What's the difference between tampons and cowboy hats?
A. Cowboy hats are for ass holes.
Your mama is so stupid, when she lost her dildo she called the cops to look for it.