Joke #4605

A man says to his wife, ‘You know what, two inches more and I’d be king.’ She replies, ‘Two inches less and you’d be queen.’
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has 77.69 % from 542 votes. More jokes about: sex

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Little Johnny was at school one day, when he noticed that there was a large crowd of kids gathered around Little Billy. Little Johnny walks up to Little Billy and says "Hey what's all the excitement about", Little Billy says "Just showing everyone my new watch". Little Johnny goes "Wow, that's a cool watch where did you get it?" Little Billy says "Well, I walked in on my mom and dad having sex over the weekend, and my dad was so mad he gave me spanking and sent me to my room". The next day, he feel guilty about what he had done and went and bought me this cool Watch. This gives Little Johnny a good idea. Later that night, when Little Johnny was sent to bed, he stayed up listening and waiting for his mom and dad to go to bed. Once he starts hearing noises coming from their room he runs down the hall, throws their bedroom door open, and yells "I want a watch!" His dad looks over to Johnny and says "Well okay, but sit in the corner and be quiet!"
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has 76.67 % from 167 votes. More jokes about: dirty, kids, little Johnny, school, sex
A couple have been dating for a few weeks, but the guy has been afraid of making advances because he thinks his penis is on the small side. Finally, he gets up his courage and takes her down lovers’ lane. While they’re kissing, he opens his trouser zip and guides her hand onto his organ. ‘No thanks,’ says the girl. ‘I don’t smoke.’
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has 64.22 % from 119 votes. More jokes about: sex
Yo' Mama is so skanky, when yo' daddy suggested doggie style, she laid down and licked her balls.
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has 43.73 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: dad, insulting, sex, Yo mama
Boy: What's it called when 3 people have sex? Girl: A threesome. Boy: What's it called when two people have sex? Girl: A twosome. Boy: Now you know why they call me handsome.
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has 76.57 % from 976 votes. More jokes about: sex
Two old soldiers, Fred and Harry, are sitting in their club. Harry turns to Fred and says, ‘When was the last time you made love to a woman?’ Fred thinks for a moment then says, ‘1947.’ ‘Good heavens,’ says Harry. ‘That’s a very long time ago.’ ‘Not reall
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Q: Why did Daft Punk spend the night with a Leprechaun? A: He was "Up all night to get lucky"
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has 61.38 % from 66 votes. More jokes about: sex
What did the elephant say to the nude man? ‘It’s cute, but can it pick up peanuts?’
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has 65.68 % from 75 votes. More jokes about: sex
Once upon a time, there was a king who thought that his officers were going to try to have sex with his queen. So he made all of his officers put on tight pants and told them that if anyone got a boner their head would be chopped off. So he lined them up and the queen came to the first one and took off her gown. He got a boner, so that was the end of him. Then she came to the next one and took off her gown, he got a boner and that was the end of him. This went on until she came to the last one and took off gown, then her underthings and he didn't get a boner. So she took off his clothes and started rolling on the floor with him, half an hour went by, then an hour, finally after two hours the king came in to see what was happening and as soon as the king came in the guy got a boner.
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has 73.67 % from 240 votes. More jokes about: dirty, gay, sex
Two friends: Tonight I am going to organize a group sex session in my apartment. Do you want to come? Of course! How many people are coming? Three, if you bring your girlfriend.
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has 75.71 % from 567 votes. More jokes about: sex
Q: How do you know when a machanic has had sex? A: Two of his fingers are clean.
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has 65.79 % from 265 votes. More jokes about: dirty, mechanic, sex