Joke #3951

Why can’t gypsies have babies? Because their husbands have crystal balls.

Have you heard about the new "Mint flavored birth control pill" for women that they take immediately before sex? They're called "Predickamints".

Want to make a porno? We don't have to tape it.

Men are like... Chocolate Bars. Sweet, smooth, and they usually head right for your hips.

Once while having s*x in a tractor-trailer, part of Chuck Norris' sperm escaped and ran into the engine. We now know this truck....as Optimus Prime.

‘Sex for an old guy is a bit like shooting pool with a rope.’ George Burns

In the Sex Ed class the teacher says, "All right, class, I want you to go home and come back tomorrow with as many positions as you can think of for making sex." The next day she says to Little Johnny in the back, "Well, John, how many positions did you come up with?" Johnny says, "Seventy-three." The teacher says, "Oh, my goodness...uh...very good, John, very good..." She calls on Becky in the front and says, "All right, Becky, how about you?" Becky says, "Gee, teacher, I only came up with one...where the guy just lays on top of the girl." Johnny yells, "Seventy-four."

Yo mama is so fat whenever I want to make sex I would request her to fart in order to find the address of her ass.

Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.

When Viagra first came out my wife and I decided to give it a go to see what all the fuss was about. I popped the pill and waited the 15 minutes and then it was on for young and old. We timed the performance to the minute and it all finally subsided at 3 hours and 17 minutes. I asked the missus what she thought and she simply stated that she couldn't understand what all the hype was about for an extra 17 minutes...

They say sex is a killer... Do you want to die happy?