Why can’t gypsies have babies?
Because their husbands have crystal balls.
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I asked my wife why did she marry me.
Wife: "Because you are funny."
Me: "I thought it was beacause I was good in bed?"
Wife: "You see? You're hilarious."
Johnny wanted to have sex with a girl in his office.
But she belonged to someone else...
One day, Johnny got so frustrated that he went up to her and said, "I'll give you a Ł100 if you let me have sex with you."
But the girl said, "NO."
Johnny said, "I'll be fast. I'll throw the money on the floor, you bend down, and I'll be finished by the time you pick it up."
She thought for a moment and said that she would have to consult her boyfriend...
So she called her boyfriend and told him the story.
Her boyfriend says, "Ask him for Ł200, pick up the money very fast, he won't even be able to get his pants down."
So she agrees and accepts the proposal.
Half an hour goes by, and the boyfriend is waiting for his girlfriend to call.
Finally, after 45 minutes, the boyfriend calls and asks what happened.
She responded, "The bastard used coins!"
As she lay there dozing next to me a voice inside my head kept saying, "Relax, you are not the first doctor to sleep with one of his patients."
But another voice kept saying, "Howard, you are a veterinarian."
Vote:
‘During sex, my girlfriend always wants to talk to me.
Just the other night she called me from a hotel.’
Rodney Dangerfield
Q: Why can't scientists find a cure for AIDS?
A: They can't get the laboratory mice to arse f*ck.
A husband and wife are trying to set up a new password for their computer.
The husband puts, "Mypenis," and the wife falls on the ground laughing because on the screen it says, "Error.
Not long enough."
In bed my girlfriend used to mentally dress me.
What is a man's idea of foreplay?
A half hour of begging.
Remember my name, because you'll be screaming it later!