Joke #4622

What’s a man’s ultimate embarrassment? Walking into a wall with an erection and hurting his nose.
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has 69.97 % from 213 votes. More jokes about: sex

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I hope you're into yoga, cause you're going to get a good stretch tonight.
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has 64.23 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: flirt, sex, sport
A man asks his wife during a 25 marriage anniversary: Darling, have you been unfaithful to me? Yes, honey, three times. When was the first time? Do you remember the situation when you went to a bank, but nobody would give you any credit? And finally the CEO of the bank himself signed the credit allowance to you. Thanks, darling. And when was the second time? Do you remember when you were very ill and nobody would agree to make the surgery for you? And finally the head of the department took care of you? Thank you darling, you saved my life. And with whom have you been unfaithful to me for the third time? Do you remember when you were a candidate to the position of city mayor and you were missing 36 votes?
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has 75.26 % from 711 votes. More jokes about: sex
Your best friend has three girlfriends. Their names are Doe, Ray, and Me. All 3 want to do something special so they set up some dates. Three days ago Doe kisses him. Two days ago Ray gives him vaginal sex. Yesterday, who sucks his dick?
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has 68.33 % from 1368 votes. More jokes about: dating, sex
Good: Your daughter has got a new job. Bad: As a call girl. Ugly: Your co-workers are her best clients. Very ugly: She makes more money than you.
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has 50.20 % from 70 votes. More jokes about: sex
How can you tell if a blonde is having a bad day? Her tampon is behind her ear and she can’t find her pencil.
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has 56.66 % from 66 votes. More jokes about: sex
One day, a Sodomite went to his doctor's office to get an HIV blood test. While there, his blood got drawn and he then left. Two weeks later, he was back at his doctor's office in an examination room, waiting for the result of the HIV test. Suddenly, his doctor walks into the examination room and says to the gay guy, "I'm awfully sorry to tell you that the test shows that you're definitely HIV positive." The gay guy then asks the doctor, "So, what needs to be done now, doctor?" The doctor says to the gay dude, "I want you to go home, sit down at your kitchen table and eat 20 hamburgers, 20 hot dogs, 20 pizzas, 20 bags of chips, and 20 gallons of ice cream." The gay then asks his doctor, "How's doing all that gonna help me out with my HIV, doctor?" The doctor then replied, "It's not gonna help you out with your HIV at all but it will definitely teach you what your asshole is really for."
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has 54.20 % from 67 votes. More jokes about: dirty, doctor, gay, health, sex
On a Trans-Atlantic Flight, a plane passes through a severe storm. The turbulence is awful, and things go from bad to worse when one wing is struck by lightning. One woman, in particular, loses it! Screaming, she stands up in the front of the plane. "I'm too young to die, I want my last minutes on Earth to be memorable! I've had plenty of sex in my life, but no one has ever made me really feel like a woman! Well, I've had it! Is there anyone on this plane who can make me feel like a woman?" For a moment there is silence. Everyone has forgotten their own peril, and they all stare, riveted, at the desperate woman in the front of the plane. Then, a man stands up in the rear of the plane. "I can make you feel like a woman," he says. He's drop-dead gorgeous. Tall, built, with flowing black hair and jet black eyes, he starts to walk slowly up the aisle, unbuttoning his shirt one button at a time. No one moves. The woman is breathing heavily in anticipation as the strange man approaches. He removes his shirt. Muscles ripple across his chest as he reaches her, and extends the arm holding his shirt to the trembling woman, and whispers: "Here, iron this."
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has 77.53 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: airplane, death, sex, time, weather
Yo mama's like a library, she's open to the public.
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has 69.19 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: dirty, insulting, sex, Yo mama
Q: Which sexual position produces the ugliest children? A: Ask your mom.
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has 38.77 % from 117 votes. More jokes about: baby, sex, ugly
How can you get AIDS from a toilet seat? By sitting down before the last guy gets up.
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has 58.15 % from 98 votes. More jokes about: sex