What’s a man’s ultimate embarrassment? Walking into a wall with an erection and hurting his nose.
While making love, he says: Darling, let's do 68! 68??? What's that? You do it to me and I'll owe you one.
Q. Did you hear they came out with a new lesbian shoe? A. They're called Dikes. They have an extra long tongue and only take one finger to get off!
There is nothing wrong with sex on TV – as long as you don’t fall off.
I lost my virginity to a retard last night... I wanted my first time to be special.
Before sex, you help each other get naked. After sex, you dress only yourself. Moral: In life no one helps you once you're fucked.
A priest passed near a young boys gang that were hanging out next to the church. He went close to them and asked them: "What are you boys doing there?" "Not much, Father. We are playing a game in which however says the biggest lie about his sexual life, wins!" "Oh, boys!" surprised said the priest. "When I was your age I wasn’t even thinking about sex!" And the boys unanimously: "You won, Father!"
Man, to woman, ‘Am I the first man you ever made love to?’ Woman, ‘You might be. Now you come to mention it, your face does look familiar.’
Q: What is the difference between anal sex and a microwave A: A microwave doesn't brown your meat.
The teacher had given the class an assignment. He stressed the importance of this particular assignment, and that no excuses would be accepted except illness or a death in the immediate family. A smart-ass student pipes up: "What about extreme sexual exhaustion, sir?" The class breaks up laughing, and when they settle down the teacher responds with: "Well, I guess you'll have to learn to write with your other hand."
What did the vagina say to the penis. So do you cum here often.