Did I tell you the joke about my dick? Never mind its too long.
Good girls go to bed at 8 p.m., since they need to be home by 11 p.m.
My girlfriend always laughs during sex – no matter what she’s reading.
I think you’ll find that any of my lady companions will tell you I’m a ‘five times a night man’. I really shouldn’t drink so much tea before I go to bed.
Three women were debating about how wide their pussy are. The first one said: "When my husband makes sex he puts his penis and his testicles in my pussy." The second lady said: "Wooo when we are in bed my husband puts his hand and his arm in mine." It was the turn of the third woman that pointed to her pussy and said: Jimy; Jimy come out, please."
Q:What did the black girl say while having sex? A:Dad get off me your crushing my ciggs.
Sex without condoms is magical... A baby appears and father disappears.
Harry is very quick with the ladies, before they can tell him they’re not that sort of girl, it’s usually too late.
A lady tells her husband, “My gynecologist said I can’t have sex for two weeks.” He replies, “What did your dentist say?”
Q: Why is life like a penis? A: Women make it hard!
A pretty lady is standing on the side of a bridge, looking over it and thinking about jumping off. A homeless alcoholic man comes up to her as he was walking nearby. The lady notices the man coming and says: "Go away! There's nothing you can say to me to change my mind, you cannot help me." "Well, if you're going to kill yourself anyway, why don't we have sex? At least I'll enjoy it" replies the man. "No way, you're disgusting, go away." The homeless man turns and starts walking away. The lady thinks: "Is that all you were going to say to me? Nothing more? Won't you try to convince me that life is worth living that I should not jump off? Where are you going?" The homeless man thinks: "I have to make it down to the bottom. If I hurry, you'll still be warm."