Joke #1262

Did I tell you the joke about my dick? Never mind its too long.

A man and a woman started to have sex in the middle of a dark forest. After about 15 minutes of it, the man finally gets up and says, "Damn, I wish I had a flashlight!". The woman says, "Me too, you've been eating grass for the past ten minutes!"

Mrs Laura a kindergarten teacher asked her class "what things we can eat?" "Bread" "Yes" "Hamburger" "Ok" A five years girl answered "Light", "Omg" shouted the teacher, "how can light be eaten?" "Last night I heared mom whispering to dad 'turn the light off and put it in my mouth'".

Smoke a smoke Not a butt Fuck a virgin Not a slut.

I tried some of that aphrodisiac rhino horn. Now I’ve got an overwhelming desire to charge at Land Rovers.

Why doesn't Osama bin Laden have sex with his five wives? Because every time he spreads their legs he sees Bush.

Once upon a time there was a women that was about to have triplets. In her stomach the babies were talking to each other. The first baby says "I want to be a plumber, because there is so much water in here". The second baby says "I want to be an electrician because it is so dark in here". And the last baby says "I want to be a hunter, because if that damn snake comes back in here i'm going to cut it off".

‘He had ambitions at one time to become a sex maniac, but he failed his practical.’ Les Dawson

Q: What does a good steak have in common with good sex? A: They're both very rare.

Lesbians can also take Viagra. They don't have to swallow it, they just let it melt in their tongues.

There are a hundred holes in the body of a woman; one of them would be filled with a penis and 99 others could be filled with money.