Did I tell you the joke about my dick? Never mind its too long.
Q: What's the difference between basketball and sex? A: In basketball you dribble before you shoot!
What do you call the useless piece of skin on a penis? The man.
‘Its been a rough day. I put on a shirt and a button fell off. I picked up my briefcase and the handle came off. I’m afraid to go to the bathroom.’ Rodney Dangerfield
I've accepted every email offer I've ever received. My penis is now 235 feet long.
How can you make your wife scream for an hour after sex? Wipe your dick on the curtains.
Question: What’s the best thing about a blow job? Answer: Ten minutes of silence.
My girlfriend likes to pretend to be a 14 year old when we have sex. I don't get it she will be 14 in a few years anyway.
When Viagra first came out my wife and I decided to give it a go to see what all the fuss was about. I popped the pill and waited the 15 minutes and then it was on for young and old. We timed the performance to the minute and it all finally subsided at 3 hours and 17 minutes. I asked the missus what she thought and she simply stated that she couldn't understand what all the hype was about for an extra 17 minutes...
Q: "What is the difference between like and love?" A: "Spit and swallow."
Q: What's the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms? A: One's a Goodyear. The other's a great year.