Joke #4880

- "Didn't you read Lord of the Rings in high school"? - "No, I had sex in high school."
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has 49.25 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: sex

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A man asks his wife during a 25 marriage anniversary: Darling, have you been unfaithful to me? Yes, honey, three times. When was the first time? Do you remember the situation when you went to a bank, but nobody would give you any credit? And finally the CEO of the bank himself signed the credit allowance to you. Thanks, darling. And when was the second time? Do you remember when you were very ill and nobody would agree to make the surgery for you? And finally the head of the department took care of you? Thank you darling, you saved my life. And with whom have you been unfaithful to me for the third time? Do you remember when you were a candidate to the position of city mayor and you were missing 36 votes?
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has 75.42 % from 737 votes. More jokes about: sex
Peter approaches the gates of Heaven. "Knock knock," says Peter. Miraculously, someone answers him. "Who's there," a voice in the distance asked. "God," says Peter. "God who," asked the voice? "GOD DAMMIT open these gates! I've been a good neighbor, loved my wife and lost my virginity, twice!"
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has 48.02 % from 71 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, heaven, knock-knock, sex
“Honey”, says the wife to her husband, “last night I had the most AMAZING dream..I dreamed that we were making love and next to our bed there was a black man from Africa who was waving a fan to us and that gave me great satisfaction..” The couple decided to make the dream come true, so they found a black man and offered him 200 euros to wave the fan to them while they made love. The three of them went home and the couple started having sex while the black man was waving the fan. But still the wife couldn’t get any satisfaction..So she proposed that they should change roles. She would make love with the black man and the husband would wave the fan next to them. The husband accepted and started waving the fan… After a while, the wife screamed of pleasure and asked for more! So the husband said to the black man: “Do you understand now how you should wave the fan, you ashole?”
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has 79.02 % from 459 votes. More jokes about: dirty, husband, sex, wife
What do nostalgic gynaecologists do? Look up old friends.
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has 48.18 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: sex
Man to a woman: "Do you know the difference between a blowjob and a cheeseburger is?" Woman: "No." Man: "Lets have lunch sometime…"
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has 58.77 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: men, sex, women
Little Johnny, "Why are you so fat?" Little Billy, "Cause Every time I fuck ur mom she gives me a doughnut."
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has 59.35 % from 68 votes. More jokes about: dirty, little Johnny, sex, vulgar, Yo mama
A guy buys his first motorcycle. The dealer tells him to keep a jar of Vaseline handy to rub on the chrome before it rains to prevent rusting. A few months later, the young man's girlfriend invites him to dinner at her parents' house. Before they go in, she explains their family tradition that whomever speaks first after dinner must do the dishes. After dinner, everyone sits in silence waiting for the first person to break. After 15 minutes, the young man decides to speed things up. He leans over and kisses his woman in front of her family. No one says a word. Emboldened, he throws her on the table and has sex with her. Silence. Desperate, he grabs her mother and has sex with her on the table. Suddenly, they hear thunder rumble in the distance. The guy thinks of his bike and, instinctively, pulls the jar of Vaseline out of his pocket. "OK, OK," says the father, "I'll do the dishes!"
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has 61.96 % from 226 votes. More jokes about: dad, family, marriage, sex, weather
Q: What did the blonde do when she found out she was pregnant with triplets? A: She went looking for the three guys.
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has 56.76 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: baby, blonde, sex, stupid
Knock, Knock Who is there? A long erected penis with an eye on my head and some wools in my feet. What do you want? Is there any body to suck me? I want to weep.
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has 63.86 % from 552 votes. More jokes about: dirty, knock-knock, sex
‘I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.’ Steve Martin
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has 48.49 % from 76 votes. More jokes about: sex