- "Didn't you read Lord of the Rings in high school"?
- "No, I had sex in high school."
Similar jokes
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How can you make your wife scream for an hour after sex?
Wipe your dick on the curtains.
A white guy walks into a bar and asked a black guy for a bl*w job.
The black guy beat him up and threw him out of the bar.
The bartender then asked, "What did he say to you?
The black guy responded I don't know all I heard is something about a job!!
Two condoms are walking down the street when they walk by a gay bar.
One condom says to the other, "Hey man, you wanna get shit-faced?"
A man goes into a florist and says, "I want to buy some flowers for my girlfriend".
"Certainly sir", she responds, "and what in particular are you after"?
After some thought, the man answers, "a shag".
How does a girl from Harlem practice safe sex?
She locks the car doors.
The best thing after an intensive argument is the peace-sex.
But I hate when I argue with my father-in-law.
Vote:
Every day a male co-worker walks up very close to a lady at the coffee machine, inhales a big breath of air and tells her that her hair smells nice.
After a week of this she can’t stand it anymore, takes her complaint to a Supervisor in the personnel department and asks to file a sexual harassment grievance against him.
The Human Resources supervisor is puzzled, and asks: “What’s threatening about a co-worker telling you your hair smells nice?”
The woman replies: “It’s Frank, the midget.”
Q: Why do rednecks like having sex doggie style?
A: That way they can both watch wrestling.
Q: What does a good steak have in common with good sex?
A: They're both very rare.
A man joins the navy and is shipped out immediately to an aircraft carrier in the middle of the Pacific Ocean.
The captain is showing the new recruit around the ship, when the recruit asks the captain what the sailors do to satisfy their urges when they're at sea for so long.
"Let me show you," says the captain.
He takes the recruit down to the rear of the ship where there's a solitary barrel with a hole in it.
"This'll be the best sex you'll ever have. Go ahead and try it, and I'll give you some privacy."
The recruit doesn't quite believe it, but he decides to try it anyway. After he finishes up, the captain returns.
"Wow! That was the best sex I've ever had! I want to do it every day!"
"Fine. You can do it every day except for Thursday."
"Why not Thursday?"
"That's your day in the barrel."