What are cat-erpillars afraid of?
Dog-erpillars.
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A man moved to a mountain top to get rid of the hustle and be alone.
One day he heard a knock at the door and no one was there but then he looked down and there sat a snail and it said "it is quite cold out here can I come in?"
The man shouted "NO why don't you all understand I want to be alone!" and he kicked the snail down the mountain.
One year later there was a knock at the door and no one was there and then he looked down and there again sat a snail and it said, "What did you do that for?"
Some say Chuck once sneezed a rhino inside out.
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Q: What do you get when you cross an alligator with a road runner?
A: A 100 mph nigger eater.
That tornado damage your cow barn any?
Dunno.
Haven't found the durn thing yet.
What do you call the everyday routines of rabbits?
Rabbits habits.
A Democrat walks into a doctor's office with a frog sitting on his head.
The frog looks at the doctor and says, "Hey doc, can you get this wart off my ass?
Which big cat should you never play cards with?
A cheetah.
Why did the dinosaur have so few friends?
Because Tyrannosaurus reeks!
Two old ladies were outside smoking one day when it started to rain.
One of the ladies took out a condom, cut off the tip, and put it over her cigarette.
The other lady said, 'Hey, that's a good idea.
What's that called?'
The lady responded, 'It's a condom.'
The other lady said, 'Where can you get one of those?'
She said, 'Oh, just about any grocery of drug store.'
So, the next day, the lady went to a local drug store, went up to the cashier, and said, 'I need to get some condoms.'
The cashier looked at her puzzled (because of her age) and said, 'UH, what size?'
The lady responded, 'Hmm, one that would fit a camel.'
Chuck Norris once rode a bull threw a China shop, the only thing that broke was the bull.
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