What are cat-erpillars afraid of? Dog-erpillars.
What magazine makes cows stampede to the newsstand? Cows-mopolitan!
A man bought a dachshund for his six children so they’d have a dog they could all pet at once.
A man brings his cat to a veterinarian. He lives the cat there and returns in two days, as preagreed. He asks the veterinarian: Is my cat still alive? Still not...
Q: Which side of a deer has the most meat? A: The inside.
Did you hear about the overweight man who took up horse riding as exercise? The horse lost 15 pounds in a week!
What do you call a bull that runs into a threshing machine? Hamburger.
Two flies sit on a pile of poop. One fly passes gas. The other fly looks at him and says, "Hey do you mind? I'm eating here."
Yo mama so ugly that when she delivered a little baby after birth the baby saw mum and screamed "It's a gorilla!".
Rabbit: "I got kicked out of my cage for not paying the rent. My wife walked out and took our twenty-nine bunnies with her. I m all out of carrots. What should I do?" Friend: "Don't worry; be hoppy!"
What do you call a gigantic polar bear? Nothing, you just run away.