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When is the best time to fake an orgasm?
When a rottweiler is humping your leg.
No chicken dies a virgin.
They get laid at birth *slaps knee*.
What's a moo hoo for a bunch of weirdo cattle?
A nerd herd.
Q: Why is a sheep better than a woman?
A: A sheep doesn't care if you fuck her sister.
Yo' Mama is so fat, her Polo shirts come with real horses on the pocket.
A summer visitor asked the farmer how long cows should be milked.
"Oh, I reckon about the same as short ones!" the farmer answered.
Two bats are hanging upside down on a branch.
One asks the other, "Do you recall your worst day last year?"
The other responds, "Yes, the day I had diarrhea!"
Q: Why was Tigger's head in the toilet?
A: He was looking for pooh!
A scientist and a philosopher were being chased by a hungry lion.
The scientist made some quick calculations, he said “it’s no good trying to outrun it, its catching up”.
The philosopher kept a little ahead and replied “I am not trying to outrun the lion, I am trying to outrun you !”