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More than anything, Bob wanted to be a cowpoke.
Taking pity on him, a rancher decided to hire the lad and give him a chance.
"This," he said, showing him a rope, "is a lariat. We use it to catch cows."
"I see," said Bob, trying to seem knowledgeable as he examined the lariat. "And what do you use for bait?"
Chuck Norris tangled with Wolverine.
He beat to him to a bloody pulp, then dared him to heal himself.
Wolverine will not be in the next X-Men movie.
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I went to the movie theater the other day and in the front row was an old man and with him was his dachshund.
It was a sad, funny kind of film.
In the sad part, the dachshund cried his eyes out, and in the funny part, the dachshund laughed its head off. This happened all the way through the film.
After the film had ended, I decided to go and speak to the man.
"That's the most amazing thing I've seen," I said.
"That dachshund really seemed to enjoy the film."
The man turned to me and said, "Yeah, it is. He hated the book."
Yo Momma is so fat…
That she makes Godzilla look like an action figure.
The little snail begs for his mother:
Mother, please let me pass the rail road!
Thunder dear, not now.
In five hours the train passes.
How are tigers like sergeants in the army?
They both wear stripes.
Why did the indecisive chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side… er, no… to go shopping… no, not that either… damn it!
Q: What did the egg say to the boiling water?
A: It'll take a while before I get hard again, I just got laid by a chick.
How do you know if your cat has eaten a duckling?
She’s got that down-in-the-mouth look.