Joke #10433

Dogs may shed, but cats shred.
Vote:
has 64.88 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: animal

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

What happened to the lizard in the wizard's garden pond? He had him newt-ered.
Vote:
has 56.86 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal
During camouflage training in Louisiana, a private disguised as a tree trunk had made a sudden move that was spotted by a visiting general. "You simpleton!" the officer barked. "Don't you know that by jumping and yelling the way you did, you could have endangered the lives of the entire company?" "Yes sir," the solder answered apologetically. "But, if I may say so, I did stand still when a flock of pigeons used me for target practice. And I never moved a muscle when a large dog peed on my lower branches. But when two squirrels ran up my pants leg and I heard the bigger say, "Let's eat one now and save the other until winter' - that did it!"
Vote:
has 71.93 % from 93 votes. More jokes about: animal, dog, life, military, winter
Chuck Norris doesn’t ride a horse, he uses his crotch to carry it.
Vote:
has 53.58 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris
Three blondes were walking through the forest when they came upon a set of tracks. The first blonde said, “Those are deer tracks.” The second blonde said, “No those are elk tracks.” The third blonde said, “You’re both wrong, those are moose tracks.” The blondes were still arguing when the train hit them. Emma: So, what kind of tracks were they?
Vote:
has 48.78 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal, blonde
Two hikers are out hiking. All of a sudden, a bear starts chasing them. They climb a tree, but the bear starts climbing up the tree after them. The first hiker gets his sneakers out of his knapsack and starts putting them on. The second hiker says, "What are you doing?" The first responds, "I figure when the bear gets close to us, we ll have to jump down and make a run for it." The second says, "Are you crazy? Don't you know you can't outrun a bear? The first guy says, "I don't have to outrun the bear... I only have to outrun you!"
Vote:
has 72.56 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q: What's the difference between a dead skunk lying in the road and a dead lawyer lying in the road? A: There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
Vote:
has 50.70 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal, death, lawyer
According to leading scientists, the deadliest animal on the planet is the Bearded Norris.
Vote:
has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, science
What do you get when you pour hot water down a rabbit hole? A Hot Cross bunny.
Vote:
has 56.77 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal
Chuck Norris invented the Giraffe when he roundhouse kicked a spotted Horse in the chin.
Vote:
has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris
Did you hear about the new shark food restaurant called Jaws? It costs an arm and a leg to eat there.
Vote:
has 56.86 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal, food