The three words most hated by men during sex: ‘Are you done?’ The three words most hated by women during sex, ‘Honey, I’m home!’
A ship with 30 sailors and one woman strands on a desert island. After one month the woman says: "I can not proceed in this way." And she suicides herself. After another month, the sailors say: "We can not proceed in this way." And they bury the woman. The next month, the sailors say: "We can not proceed in this way." And they dig up the woman.
Sex is when a guys communication, enters a girls information, to increase the population, for a younger generation, do you get the information... or do you need a demonstration.
My previous girlfriend had this weird sleeping disorder - in the middle of every night she would wake up and suck my dick. No wonder her dad did not want her to move out.
Lifting weights have really helped me with the ladies - the last five I raped didn't stand a chance.
A man says to his wife, ‘You know what, two inches more and I’d be king.’ She replies, ‘Two inches less and you’d be queen.’
“Honey”, says the wife to her husband, “last night I had the most AMAZING dream..I dreamed that we were making love and next to our bed there was a black man from Africa who was waving a fan to us and that gave me great satisfaction..” The couple decided to make the dream come true, so they found a black man and offered him 200 euros to wave the fan to them while they made love. The three of them went home and the couple started having sex while the black man was waving the fan. But still the wife couldn’t get any satisfaction..So she proposed that they should change roles. She would make love with the black man and the husband would wave the fan next to them. The husband accepted and started waving the fan… After a while, the wife screamed of pleasure and asked for more! So the husband said to the black man: “Do you understand now how you should wave the fan, you ashole?”
Q: What is the difference between anal sex and a microwave A: A microwave doesn't brown your meat.
Did you hear about the new contraceptive pill for men? You put it in your shoe and it makes you limp.
Question: If you went to a party and woke up with a condom in your ass would you tell anyone? Answer: No! Response: Wanna go to a party?
Q. What do you call a rabbit with a bent dick? A. Fucks Funny!