Joke #9685

Q: Why don't Canadians have group sex? A: Too many thank-you letters to write afterwards.

Yo mama so fat, when your dad tried eating your mom's pussy his head stuck in.

A Marine was going in for his physical. He had celebrated his 45th birthday that weekend. After taking all the tests, the blood other fluids. He was now waiting for the DR. in an office on the table in a paper outfit. The DR came in. After looking over all the notes, the Marine was asked if he had an active sex life. Straight-faced, the Marine answered. "Yes, Sir.' Asked how often, the Marine thought, "I cannot honestly answer that question, Sir." Turning to look at the Marine he was asked, "Why not?" Smiling the Marine stated. "One of the samples that were needed, I asked for some assistance. A nice Lady came in to help me. Would that count?" The DR. signed the paperwork. Walked out of the office saying, "Get dressed. You're fine."

The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money usually costs a lot less.

A man comes home from a hard day of work only to find his wife laying infront of the fire place with her legs wide open. He asked, "Honey what are you doing?" She replied, "I'm heating up your dinner."

Once while having s*x in a tractor-trailer, part of Chuck Norris' sperm escaped and ran into the engine. We now know this truck....as Optimus Prime.

What is the difference between a hippie girl and a muslim girl? The hippie girl gets stoned before have sex.

Yesterday my daughter was playing in the garden when I saw her kill a butterfly. So to teach her a lesson I said, "Just for that you don't get any butter for a month." Today in the kitchen she killed a cockroach. I said, "Nice try."

She was hungry for love and didn’t know where her next male was coming from.

Q: Why do rednecks like having sex doggie style? A: That way they can both watch wrestling.

What do spinach and anal sex have in common? If you're forced to have it as a kid, you'll hate it as an adult.