Joke #9685

Q: Why don't Canadians have group sex? A: Too many thank-you letters to write afterwards.
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has 62.00 % from 94 votes. More jokes about: sex

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Did you hear about the fellow that was talking to his buddy, when he said, "I don't know what to get my wife for her birthday. She has everything, and besides, she can afford to buy anything she wants. So, I'm stumped." His buddy said, "I have an idea. Why don't you make up a certificate that says she can have two hours of great sex, any way she wants it. She'll probably be thrilled!" So the first fella did just that. The next day his buddy asked, "Well, did you take my suggestion? How did it turn out?" "She loved it. She jumped up, thanked me, kissed me on the mouth, and ran out the door yelling, 'I'll see you in two hours'."
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has 79.48 % from 1219 votes. More jokes about: birthday, love, sex, wife
Q: What do gay guys have in common with bungee jumpers? A: If the rubber breaks, they're in deep shit!
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has 72.91 % from 88 votes. More jokes about: death, dirty, gay, sex, sport
A girlfriend said to me during sex that I should be a little more graceful, so I went to ballet classes!
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has 59.20 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: communication, relationship, sex
Warning ladies! Never trust a man who calls you "SEXY". This is why. When he removes the letter 'Y' it means you're down for "SEX". After sex, he will remove the letter "S" and start calling you his "EX".
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has 64.21 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: men, sex, women
Boy: What's it called when 3 people have sex? Girl: A threesome. Boy: What's it called when two people have sex? Girl: A twosome. Boy: Now you know why they call me handsome.
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has 76.26 % from 994 votes. More jokes about: sex
My girlfriend has incredible sexual skills. I almost had a heart attack when I saw the video!
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has 72.33 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: dirty, mean, relationship, sex, technology
Question: Why do women close their eyes during sex? Answer: They can’t stand seeing a man have a good time.
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has 48.18 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: sex, time, women
There were three daughters and they all wanted to get married but they couldn't afford it and neither could there parents. So the parents said "We will give you all a joint wedding and then you will all be able to get married". So they got married and all three daughters then said "I want a honeymoon but we cant afford it". The parents couldn't afford it either so they deiced they would have the honeymoon at their parents house. So on there honeymoon night their mother woke up and deiced to go downstairs and get a drink. On the way down she heard the first daughter screaming but she juts ignored it. When she reached the second daughters bedroom she could hear laughing and just ignored it. When she reached the third daughters room she could hear nothing and deiced 2 ignore it. The next morning at the breakfast table she said to the first daughter "Why were you screaming?". And the daughter replied "Well mother you told me 2 scream when something hurt." Then the mother said to the second daughter "Why were you laughing last night?" and the daughter replied "Mother you told me to laugh when something tickled". Then the mother said to the last daughter "Why didn't I hear anything coming from your room last night?" and the daughter replied "Well mother you told me never to talk with my mouth full".
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has 79.61 % from 2385 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, money, sex
Monday – a very, very, good day! The leader’s daughter lost. We found her and all of us made sex with her. Tuesday – a very, very, good day! The leader's wife lost. We found her and all of us made sex with her. Wednesday – a very, very, very, very, very, very, bad day! ... I lost! … Now they're looking for me.
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has 40.30 % from 207 votes. More jokes about: dirty, sex, wife
Q: What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? A: A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.
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has 65.35 % from 174 votes. More jokes about: drug, sex