Joke #4666

Mortal: What is a million years like to you? God: Like one second. Mortal: What is a million pounds like to you? God: Like one penny. Mortal: Can I have a penny? God: Just a second…
Vote: has 34.87 % from 8 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: money

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

There will always be death and taxes. However, death doesn’t get worse every year.
Vote: has 24.92 % from 8 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: money
Money spoils people, thus folks of Sierra Leone are really good.
Vote: has 60.15 % from 22 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: money
Once there was a magical mirror. When you told the thruth it gave you things, but if you lie to it, it makes you vanish forever. One day three college girls went to the mirror. The red head said "I think I'm the smartest one." Then she got a diploma, scholarship, and got accepted into all the colleges in the world. The brunette then said "I think I'm the prettiest one." Then she got a Corvette, mansion, a good looking boyfriend , and a lot of money. Then the blonde said " I think...*poof*" Then she suddenly dissapearred forever
Vote: has 84.64 % from 574 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: blonde, car, college, ginger, money
Yo mama so stupid when she pays her bills she gives pennies to her cash.
Vote: has 42.03 % from 18 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: money, stupid, Yo mama
The best way of saving money is to forget who you borrowed it from.
Vote: has 27.32 % from 5 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: money
"If you had a dollar," quizzed the teacher, "and you asked your father for another dollar and fifty cents, how much money would you have?" "One dollar." answered little Johnny. "You don't know your basic math." said the teacher shaking her head, disappointed. Little Johnny shook his head too, "You don't know my daddy."
Vote: has 85.60 % from 756 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dad, little Johnny, math, money
The newest therapy for healing the states of depression is so-called decapitation. It costs only 100 dollars but 50 dollars pays the health insurance company. The operation will be made only once and you will never feel depressive. I had also luck and I also gave an order to this kind of therapy. I wish well to myself.
Vote: has 64.88 % from 18 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: health, money
I asked the boss if I could get a raise, and he said, "Because of the fluctuational predisposition of your position's productive capacity as juxtaposed to the industry standards, it would be monetarily injudicious to advocate an increment." I said, "I don't get it." He said, "That's right."
Vote: has 81.57 % from 66 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: management, money, stupid
‘He’s spending a year dead for tax purposes.’ Douglas Adams
Vote: has 27.32 % from 5 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: money
What are Women Really Thinking? So many men, so few who can afford me. Coffee, chocolate, men ... some things are just better rich. Don't treat me any differently than you would the Queen. Guys have feelings too, But ... who cares? And your point is? Next mood swing: 6 minutes. If you want breakfast in bed, sleep in the kitchen.
Vote: has 41.82 % from 24 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: food, marriage, money, time