Joke #4668

‘Doctor, I suffer from premature ejaculation. Can you help me?!’ ‘No, but I can introduce you to a woman with a short attention span!’
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has 56.31 % from 68 votes. More jokes about: sex

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A newlywed couple just moved into their new house. One day, the wife asked her husband, "Honey, one of the bathroom pipes is leaking. Could you fix it?" The husband looked at his wife and said, "What do I look like Mr. Plumber?" A few days went by, and his wife asked for a favor. "Honey, the car won't start. I think it needs a new battery. Could you change it for me?" "What do I look like Mr. Goodwrench?" A couple weeks later, the wife found a leak in the roof. "Honey, there's a leak on the roof. Can you please fix it?" "What do I look like Bob Vila?" He sat down with a beer and watched a game on TV. One rainy weekend, the husband realized the leak on the roof was gone. He went to the bathroom and found that the pipe behind the sink wasn't leaking anymore either. When his wife returned home, the husband asked, "Honey, how come there aren't any more leaks and the car's running?" She replied nonchalantly, "Oh, the other day I ran into one of our new neighbors, Jon. What a nice man. He came over and fixed everything. "Wow, did he charge us anything?" "No, he said he'd do it for free if I either baked him a cake or had sex with him." "Cool. What kind of cake did you make?" "Cake? What the hell do I look like Betty Crocker?"
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has 55.40 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: food, husband, marriage, sex, work
My girlfriend asked me for the 7th time in a row for me to smash raw... She must think I'm made of coat hangers.
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Sex is like a motor racing - the most important thing is not to save money for bes quality rubber.
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Girl: I get horny everytime I hear something sexual, it's weird I know, but anyway, what's your name? Me: Sir BJ Anal The 69th.
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Two firemen are butt fucking in a smoked filled room. The fire chief walks in and says "what are you doing?" Give this man mouth to mouth then one of the firemen says: "I did how do you think all this shit got started..."
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has 49.12 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: gay, sex, work
Q: What do a woman and a bar have in common? A: Liquor in the front, Poker in the back.
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has 60.41 % from 70 votes. More jokes about: bar, dirty, game, sex, women
What did the Irish spinster keep saying in her prayers? ‘Good Lord, please have Murphy on me…’
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has 38.97 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: sex
Grandmother is so stupid, she’s gone on the pill because she doesn’t want any more grandchildren.
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has 49.76 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: sex
I have asked my mamma: "Mamma, why do we have 10 cock birds but only 1 hen?" Mama has said to me: "Because I want that she has a better life than I had."
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has 70.03 % from 79 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, life, sex
Q. What's the difference between a prostitute, a nymphomaniac, and a blonde? A. The prostitute says, "Aren't you done yet?" The nympho says, "Are you done already?" The blonde says, "Beige...I think I'll paint the ceiling beige."
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has 59.74 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: blonde, sex