Joke #47

"What is a man's idea of a balanced diet?" "A Budweiser in each hand!"
Vote:
has 44.50 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, men

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

A wife says, "Hey! Look at that funny guy who's been drinking a lot." The husband responds, "Who is he?" The wife answers, "Well, five years ago, he was my boyfriend and I denied him for marriage." "Oh my God! He's still celebrating his freedom!" says the husband.
Vote:
has 83.46 % from 74 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, life, marriage, mean, men
"Ever since we got married, my wife has tried to change me. She got me to stop drinking, smoking and running around until all hours of the night. She taught me how to dress well, enjoy the fine arts, gourmet cooking, classical music, even how to invest in the stock market," said the man. "Sounds like you may be bitter because she changed you so drastically," remarked his friend. "I'm not bitter. Now that I'm so improved, she just isn't good enough for me."
Vote:
has 83.21 % from 348 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, marriage, men, wife
A man enters a store and says: "15 litres of wine please." "Did you bring a container for this? " "You're speaking to it."
Vote:
has 81.21 % from 78 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, drunk, men, wine
Three women were sitting around throwing back a few drinks and talking about their sex lives. Karen said, "I call my husband the dentist because nobody can drill like he does." Joanne giggled and confessed, "I call my husband the miner, because of his incredible shaft." Kathy quietly sipped her whiskey until Joanne finally asked, "Well, what do you call your boyfriend?" Kathy frowned and said, "The postman." Looking puzzeled Joanne asked, "Why the postman?" "Because… he always delivers late and half the time it’s in the wrong box."
Vote:
has 68.26 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, husband, men, sex, women
Three men are sitting at a campfire telling stories about their great endeavors. The first man talked about how to sucked out the venom of a snake and sucked it up with 50 degree alcohol. The second man called it a circus trick as he has gotten 3 gunshots towards the chest and he but the guns in half. They looked at the third guy wanting to hear his story. Only to see him stroking his cock with the glowing hot coals.
Vote:
has 43.43 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, dirty, life, men
One day a man and a giraffe go to a pub they have a couple of drinks then on their way out the giraffe falls over and blocks the door the bar. Man says "you can leave that lion here." The man said "it's not a lion its a giraffe you idiot."
Vote:
has 39.42 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, animal, bar, men, stupid
Q: What does a shot of Everclear and a Woman have in common? A: Both of them make men start talking nonsense!
Vote:
has 26.98 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, men, women
Q: What was the first word out of Adam's mouth when he first saw Eve? A: Whoa man! Thus, the word "woman" was created.
Vote:
has 72.04 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: bible, communication, men, women
Warning: Consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.
Vote:
has 39.32 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: alcohol
Boy: "Do you like parties?" Girl: "Yes, why?" Boy: "Well then jump in my pants and have a ball!"
Vote:
has 57.52 % from 112 votes. More jokes about: dirty, flirt, men, party, women