Why do men like masturbation?
It's sex with someone they love.
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How is being at a singles bar different from going to the circus?
At the circus the clowns don't talk.
A man, during his night prays, asks God: "Oh, Lord... Why you’ve made women so beautiful?"
God replies: "So you can love them, my child."
"Fine, but my Lord, why you’ve made them so stupid?"
"So that they can love you back, my child...!"
Why does the stupid man put ice in his condom?
To keep the swelling down.
Why do men want to vote for a female President?
Because we'd only have to pay her half as much.
A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, wherever I touch, it hurts."
The doctor asks, "What do you mean?"
The man says, "When I touch my shoulder, it really hurts. If I touch my knee - OUCH! When I touch my forehead, it really, really hurts."
The doctor says, "I know what's wrong with you. You've broken your finger!"
What did God say after creating man?
I can do so much better.
How can you tell if a novel is homosexual?
The hero always gets his man in the end.
Men are like.....Bank Machines.
Once they withdraw they lose interest.
Three guys, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish.
The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home.
The second guy wishes the same.
The third guy says "I’m lonely.
I wish my friends were back here."
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