Why do men like masturbation?
It's sex with someone they love.
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Q. What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
A. A widow.
Ladies and Gentlemen, if there is anybody here who is feeling, worried, nervous or apprehensive it is probably because you just married John.
Brrr! My hands are cold.
Can I warm them in your heaving breasts?
What is the difference between men and women?
A woman wants a man to satisfy their every little need.
A man wants all the women to satisfy their one and only little need.
What's the difference between Big Foot and an intelligent man?
Big Foot's been spotted several times.
Why were men given larger brains than dogs?
A.So they wouldn't hump women's legs at cocktail parties.
B.So they wouldn't stop to play with every other man they see when you take them around the block.
A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, there's a piece of lettuce sticking out of my bottom."
The doctor asks him to drop his trousers and examines him.
The man asks, "Is it serious, doctor?"
The doctor replies, "I'm sorry to tell you, but this is just the tip of the iceberg."
A plane is descending rapidly from the air, and the passengers are all scared stiff.
Suddenly a women near the front of the plane stands up and takes off her shirt.
She proceeds to yell, "Is there a man on this plane that can make me feel like a REAL woman before I die?!"
She continues to yell this for about ten minutes before a man in the very back takes a stand. He proceeds to say "Yeah I can make you feel like a woman."
He then takes off his shirt and throws it towards her and says, "Here! Iron this!"
A huge guy walks into a bar, approaches a little guy and karate chops him in the back.
When the little guy gets up, the huge guy says, "That was a karate chop from Korea."
A little later, the huge guy walks back over to the little guy and karate chops him in the back.
The huge guy says, "That was a karate chop from China."
The little guy leaves the bar, comes back and hits the huge guy on the back.
The huge guy lies unconscious on the floor.
The little guy tells the bartender, "Tell him that was a crowbar from Sears."
How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
ONE......He just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around him.
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