Joke #4304

I saw a tramp who was so broke he was standing on the corner shouting, ‘Will work for cardboard and a magic marker!’

Q: How many corporate attorneys does it take to change a light bulb? A: Who knows, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.

A man walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "hey, will you give me a free beer if I show you something amazing you've never seen before?" The bartender says, "sure, but it'd better be good." The man reaches into his coat pocket and pulls out a hamster. He sets the hamster down on the bar, and the hamster runs along the bar, jumps off the end, turns a somersault in midair and lands on the piano. He the proceeds to play the piano beautifully. The bartender says, "Wow! That was incredible! Have a beer." The man finishes his beer and says to the bartender, "hey, if I show you something else amazing that you've never seen before, will you give me another free beer?" "If it's as amazing as the hamster, sure," the bartender replies. So the man reaches back into his coat pocket, and pulls out a frog. He sets the frog down on the bar, and the frog begins to sing beautifully. The bartender is again amazed, and gets the man another beer. As the man is drinking his beer, another man rushes over and says "Holy shit, a singing frog! I'll give you $200 for that frog." The first man says "Deal!" and sells him the frog. The bartender walks over and says, "not that it's my business, but that was a singing frog, for heaven's sake. Why would you sell it for only $200? You could have made millions off of it." The man says, "nah, don't worry. The hamster's also a ventriloquist."

Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb? A: "How many can you afford?"

In Chuck Norris' yard, money does grow on trees.

How do two programmers make money? One writes viruses, the other anti-viruses.

A man hires a taxi to take him to court for his bankruptcy trial. When they arrive he says to the driver, ‘Well, I suppose you might as well come in too.’

I bet my friend $5 that he would drown in the lake. A bittersweet victory.

If God had meant us to pay taxes, he’d have made us smart enough to fill in the return form.

Chuck Norris is the only one who doesn't have to tell PayPal to switch the funding source to his credit card.

Yo Momma is so poor when her friend came over to use the bathroom she said ok, choose a corner.