Joke #4425

We’re all self-made but only the rich and successful like to admit it.
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has 71.76 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: money

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One reason the Services have trouble operating jointly is that they don’t speak the same language. For example, if you told Navy personnel to “secure a building,” they would turn off the lights and lock the doors. Army personnel would occupy the building so no one could enter. Marines would assault the building, capture it, and defend it with suppressive fire and close combat. The Air Force, on the other hand, would take out a three-year lease with an option to buy.
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has 59.06 % from 84 votes. More jokes about: air force, death, military, money, navy
A beggar walks up to a well-dressed woman out shopping. ‘I haven’t eaten anything in four days,’ he says. She looks at him and says, ‘God, I wish I had your willpower.’
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has 62.61 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: money
The first paper money press was invented when Chuck Norris drew a design under his boot and stepped on a tree.
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has 30.77 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, money
A pick pocket was up in court for a series of petty crimes. The judge said "Mr. Banks you are hereby fined $100." The lawyer stood up and said "Thanks, my lord, however my client only has $75 on him at this time, but if you'd allow him a few minutes in the crowd. . ."
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has 43.90 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: lawyer, money
Ted said to his friend, 'can you lend me $10?' 'But I only have $8,' his friend replied. That's OK, you can always owe me the other $2!
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has 42.00 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: money
Don’t spend money having your shirts laundered. Donate them to a charity shop, then when they’ve cleaned them, buy them back.
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has 54.16 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: money
A guy takes his blonde girlfriend to a football game for the first time. After the game he asked his girlfriend how she liked the game. Oh, I really liked it, she said, but I just couldn't understand though why they were beating each other up for 25 cents. Surprised, the boyfriend asked, what do you mean? The blonde girlfriend replied all they kept screaming was, ‘Get the quarter back! Get the quarter back!'
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has 65.42 % from 61 votes. More jokes about: football, kids, money
He’s in debt up to his eyes. The only thing he’s paid for is his hat.
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has 21.85 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: money
Kamasutra says: If you suck one nipple, the women herself offers the other one. And that was the origin of "buy one get one free"!
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has 68.86 % from 98 votes. More jokes about: business, dirty, money, sex, women
Johnny collected lots of money from trick or treating and he went to the candy store to buy some chocolate. "You should give that money to charity", said the shopkeeper. "No, I'll buy the chocolate. YOU give the money to charity!"
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has 21.90 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: food, money