A shopkeeper was dismayed when a store opened next door with a huge sign that said, BEST DEALS!” To make things worse, another store opened on the other side with a huge sign reading “LOWEST PRICES!”
He nearly panicked until he had the idea to put up his own sign, bigger that the other two, that read, “MAIN ENTRANCE.”
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Paddy got a job as a road line-painter.
He paints 5 miles on the first day, 2 miles on the second day and 1 on the third day.
"You get worse and worse every day!" yelled his boss.
"That is because the bucket gets further and further away every day." said Paddy.
Q: What does an Irishman get after eating Italian food?
A: Gaelic breath.
Q: Wanna hear a joke?
A: Women's Rights.
Q: Who hangs out with musicians but isn't a musician?
A: Drummers.
I just read a book about Stockholm Syndrome. It was pretty bad at first, but by the end I kinda liked it.
Boss: "This is the third time you've been late for work this week. Do you know what that means?"
Me: "That it's only Wednesday."
Man: You've brought religion into my life.
Woman: Really? How?
Man: Until I met you, I didn't believe in Hell.
Q: The more you take the more you leave behind. What am I?
A: footsteps
On the Internet you can be anything you want.
It's so strange that many people choose to be stupid.