Define "Egghead":
What Mrs. Dumpty gives to Humpty.
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Chuck Norris can strum your pain with his fingers, tell your whole life with his words – but mainly just kill you softly with his song.
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3 things which change women:
1) I love U
2) I liquidated to your account
3) U have lost weight
The last one had been some fatalities!
When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity.
To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300°C.
The Russians used a pencil.
A wife told his husband to whisper her dirty things, the man then replied, "The kitchen, the living room, the conservatory and the dining room."
I'm actually glad that 2 Chainz mentions his name at the begin of every song.
It gives me time to change the radio station.
The best thing about trying to name a baby is realizing how many people you hate.
Q: Why did Mexico send only a couple thousand Mexicans to fight in the Alamo?
A: Because they only had 4 trucks.
What is height of Fashion?
Dhoti with a zip.
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
If you make a list of 10 things Chuck Norris cannot do, he will appear at your house and perform them all.
Your life may be forfeit.
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