Joke #4781

A little bird was flying south for the Winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him. Morals of the story: 1. Not everyone who sh*ts on you is your enemy. 2. Not everyone who gets you out of sh*t is your friend. 3. And when you're in deep sh*t, it's best to keep your mouth shut!
Vote: has 78.03 % from 37 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: bird, friendship, life, winter

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson go on a camping trip. After a good dinner and a bottle of wine, they retire for the night, and go to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend. "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see." "I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes" replies Watson. "And what do you deduce from that?" Watson ponders for a minute. "Well, Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful, and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe." But what does it tell you, Holmes?" Holmes is silent for a moment. "Watson, you idiot!" he says. "Someone has stolen our tent!"
Vote: has 86.41 % from 308 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: friendship, life, science, stupid, wine
Today my stoner friend used my to-do list as a blunt wrap. He was high on my list of priorities.
Vote: has 73.89 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: friendship, life
Q: What's a good holiday tip? A: Never catch snowflakes with your tongue until all the birds have gone south for the winter.
Vote: has 73.52 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: bird, disgusting, holiday, winter
During camouflage training in Louisiana, a private disguised as a tree trunk had made a sudden move that was spotted by a visiting general. "You simpleton!" the officer barked. "Don't you know that by jumping and yelling the way you did, you could have endangered the lives of the entire company?" "Yes sir," the solder answered apologetically. "But, if I may say so, I did stand still when a flock of pigeons used me for target practice. And I never moved a muscle when a large dog peed on my lower branches. But when two squirrels ran up my pants leg and I heard the bigger say, "Let's eat one now and save the other until winter' - that did it!"
Vote: has 70.33 % from 60 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, dog, life, military, winter
What is the best type of ship? FRIENDSHIP!
Vote: has 56.77 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: friendship, life
Q: Why do birds fly south in the winter? A: Because it's too far to walk!
Vote: has 48.02 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: bird, geography, travel, winter
Three guys, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy says "I’m lonely. I wish my friends were back here."
Vote: has 47.48 % from 49 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: desert island, friendship, genie, life
Men call us birds, is that because of all the worms we pick up?
Vote: has 72.24 % from 7 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: bird, men
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
Vote: has 44.92 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: bird, Chuck Norris, death
When a lady is pregnant, all her friends touch her stomach ad say "Congrats!". But none of them come and touch the man's Penis and say "Well done!". Moral: Hard work is never appreciated, only result matters...
Vote: has 83.07 % from 130 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, life, work