Patient: Doc I keep on forgetting things.
Doctor: Since when did you have these problems?
Patient: What problems?
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"Doctor I feel like biscuits!"
"What, you mean those square ones?"
"Yes!"
"The ones you put butter on?"
"Yes!"
"Well, that means you’re crackers!"
What is the best type of ship?
FRIENDSHIP!
Vote:
Why is there a fence around the cemetery?
Because people are dying to get in.
The doctor said he would have me on my feet in two weeks."
"And did he?"
"Yes, I had to sell the car to pay the bill."
Q: What’s the definition of a pessimist?
A: A pessimist is a well-informed optimist.
Wearing a turtleneck shirt is like being strangled by a really weak person all day.
Q: If Dan Quayle, Bob Packwood and Bill Clinton participated in a spelling contest, who would win?
A: Dan Quayle. He's the only one who knows that "harass" is one word.
Two truck drivers trying to drive under a bridge.
Driver, "Oh no, the height of bridge is 2.7m and our truck is 3m."
2nd driver, "it's ok, just go, there is no cops around."
1st Eskimo: "Where did your mother come from?"
2nd Eskimo: "Alaska."
1st Eskimo: "Don’t bother, I’ll ask her myself!"