What do you get when you put 50 lawyers in a room with 50 lesbians?
One hundred people who don't do dick.
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A man walks into a clock shop where a beautiful woman is working.
He walks to the counter unzips his fly and pulls out his cock.
The woman screams "excuse me sir this is a CLOCK SHOP".
I know replied the man "I want two hands and a face put on this".
How do you blindfold a Chinese person?
Put floss over their eyes.
I had a visitor one night… he explored my body… licked, sucked, swallowed & had his fill… when satisfied he left… I was hurt… Damn mosquito!!!
A young man walks into a bar and orders a Kamikaze.
As soon as he is severed he slams it down. And before the bartender can walk away he calls out I need a shot of Tequila.
So the bat tender pours the tequila. And no sooner than he is server he slam it back and then the young man asks for a shot of Gin.
The bar tender compiles with the request, and out of curiosity asks the young man are you celebrating?
The young man nods, and says quietly mt first blow job.
The bartender smiles and says I remember my first.
The young man looks up and says so how did you get rid of that taste?
"Is it rape if it's your wife?"
"I don't think so."
"What a relief! I thought you'd be mad as hell!"
If a man and a woman get married in Texas and move to Washington are they still brother and sister?
Johny came crying.
Dad: "What happened?"
Johny: "Today at class when we got up from our seats for prayer, Rita, who sits in front of us, had her skirt stuck between her ass, seeing that my bench mate pulled it out."
Dad: "That's bad, but why you are crying?"
Johny: "I knew that's bad, so I pushed it back into her ass and she slapped me."
Vote:
Q: Why do vegetarians give good head?
A: Beause they're used to eating nuts.
Lady, how many sex partners have you had?
Three.. oh no, wait... nine - I have forgotten one case.