Joke #4806

What do you get when you put 50 lawyers in a room with 50 lesbians? One hundred people who don't do dick.
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I would kick you straight in the vagina... If I wasn't afraid of losing my shoe.
Vote: has 67.83 % from 171 votes. Send joke:

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A man is on a plane. The pilot starts talking on the intercom and then lays it down without knowing its still on. The pilot says to the co-pilot, "I could use two things right now, a cup of coffee and a blowjob." Stuartist runs up the isle to tell the pilot to turn off the intercom. The man stands up and says, "Hey hun, dont forget the coffee."
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Q: Why do nursing homes give Viagra to the old men every night? A: It keeps them from rolling out of bed!
Vote: has 59.29 % from 79 votes. Send joke:

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This guy said send me a naked pic, so I sent him a picture of my kitty. She's not wearing any clothes.
Vote: has 58.52 % from 27 votes. Send joke:

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Q: How do you know when a machanic has had sex? A: Two of his fingers are clean.
Vote: has 65.35 % from 246 votes. Send joke:

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Every day a male co-worker walks up very close to a lady at the coffee machine, inhales a big breath of air and tells her that her hair smells nice. After a week of this she can’t stand it anymore, takes her complaint to a Supervisor in the personnel department and asks to file a sexual harassment grievance against him. The Human Resources supervisor is puzzled, and asks: “What’s threatening about a co-worker telling you your hair smells nice?” The woman replies: “It’s Frank, the midget.”
Vote: has 78.27 % from 388 votes. Send joke:

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While talking to girl: "Hey, I heard an interesting stat the other day. They said that 80% of women masturbate in the shower. Know what the other 20% do?" "No, what?" "Yea, I figured you were in the first group."
Vote: has 84.57 % from 536 votes. Send joke:

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4 reasons why I curse 1) Because I fucking want to. 2) Because I fucking can. 3) Because I don't give a fuck. 4) Because my mom isn't around.
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A very popular girl went to her doctor and found out that she was pregnant. The doctor says, “I know that you are not married! Do you know who the father of this baby is?” The girl thought and then asked, “Doc, if you ate a can of Baked Beans, would you know which bean made you fart?”
Vote: has 83.13 % from 320 votes. Send joke:

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A father was advising his son: "If you want to have a big and strong dick in future you have to eat more walnuts." Suddenly son's mother by an angry face shouted: "Why when you were child did'nt eat enough walnut yourself?"
Vote: has 79.95 % from 54 votes. Send joke:

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