My colleague said to me, "I bet you can't see your dick when you look down in the shower."
"No, just your daughter's head," I replied.
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Q: If a horses foot covers 2 acres of land, what will his tail cover?
A: His ass!
Q: What did Snow White say to Pinocchio when she was sitting on his face?
A: "Lie to me! Lie to me!"
Vote:
Teacher: "Can you tell the name of 3 great Kings who have brought happpines and peace into people lives?"
Student: " Smo-king", Drin-king and Fuc-king"
Q: Why is a girls pussy like an ocean?
A: It's really wet and has a Sperm Whale in it.
Q: What's the difference between a genealogist and a gynecologist?
A: The genealogist checks the family tree and the gynecologist checks the family bush.
You work at a corner store and a hot girl walks in.
You ask for her number and she gives you a piece of paper with her phone number and address.
She tells you to take her out today.
She leaves and you tell your boss that you're going to f*uck the sh*t out of her and how you're going to rock her world.
You go to her house and your boss is in the kitchen and the girl tells him, big daddy.
You run out as fast as you can.
You go to work the next day and the girl is there waiting for you and tells you that it's over between you two.
Your boss asks you why didn't you go through with it.
You tell him you thought you would be mad and fire me if you knew I was talking about your daughter.
Your boss says I'm not her father in her Plummer.
You ask him why she called him daddy.
He says because that's my first name.
Q: What is the difference between a mouse and a dick?
A: No difference. Both are searching a hole.
A family walks into a hotel and the father goes to the front desk and he says "I hope the porn is disabled."
The guy at the desk replies. "It's just regular porn you sick fuck."
Did you hear about the theft at the Viagra factory?
The police are looking for some hardened criminals!
A man was getting ready to close his bar for the night when a robber with a ski mask burst in and pulls a gun.
He yells to him, "This is a stick-up! Put all your dough in this bag!"
The scared the man pleads, "Don't shoot, please! I'll do as you say!"
The robber yells, "Shut up and empty the cash register!"
HE says, "Okay, okay! Just don't shoot, I have a wife and kids! I'll do whatever you say!"
The crook takes the money then puts the gun to the the man's head and says, Alright, now give me a bl*wjob!"
"Anything!" cries Banta, "Just don't shoot!"
The man starts to blow the crook.
As the crook gets excited, he drops the gun.
Man sees the gun on the floor, picks it up, hands it back to the crook and yells, "Hold the gun, damn it! Somebody might walk in!"