Joke #4820

My colleague said to me, "I bet you can't see your dick when you look down in the shower." "No, just your daughter's head," I replied.

I had to get an Xbox controller tattooed on my vagina. So my boyfriend would play with me for a change.

A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar that reads: CHEESEBURGER: $1.50 CHICKEN SANDWICH: $2.50 HAND JOB: $10.00 He walks up to the bar and beckons one of the three exceptionally attractive blondes serving drinks. "Can I help you?" she asks. "I was wondering," whispers the man. "Are you the one who gives the hand jobs?" "Yes," she purrs. "I am." The man replies, "Well, wash your hands. I want a cheeseburger."

A family walks into a hotel and the father goes to the front desk and he says "I hope the porn is disabled." The guy at the desk replies. "It's just regular porn you sick fuck."

Two men were talking: First : "Can U put the word 'penis' in a sentence?" Second: "Yo mama's pussy."

Sure, I love to cook, but that doesn't mean I'm against eating out.

A man calls 911 emergency: " Come immediately, my little son has swallowed a condom!" After five minutes, the same man calls back: "It is ok, I found another one."

When I was younger I used to think having sex was kissing naked. One day after showering my dog came in the restroom, so I kissed him on the head, after realizing what I did I ran downstairs, and told my mom that I had sex with the dog, you can image her face after hearing this. Yep I was a very dumb child.

Wife says to husband, "You make love like you decorate." Husband replies, "What very slow and professional?" "NO,"she replies, "I have to finish the job myself."

There are a hundred holes in the body of a woman; one of them would be filled with a penis and 99 others could be filled with money.

I'll have you saying, "My compliments to the chef" in no time!