Joke #4820

My colleague said to me, "I bet you can't see your dick when you look down in the shower." "No, just your daughter's head," I replied.
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has 83.80 % from 361 votes. More jokes about: dirty

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One day two very loving parents got into a huge fight, the man called the women a "bitch" and the women called the man a "bastard". Their son walked in and said "What does bitch and bastard mean?" and the parents replied "ladies and gentlemen". The next day the parents decided to have sex, the women said "feel my titties" and the man said "feel my dick". Their son walked in and asked "What does titties and dick mean?" and the parents replied "hats and coats". On Thanksgiving the dad was shaving and he cut himself, "Shit" he said, the kid came in and asked "What's that mean" and the man said it was the brand shaving cream he was using. Down stairs the mom was preparing the turkey, and she cut herself, "Fuck" she said. Once again the kid asked "What's that mean" the mom said that is what she calls stuffing the turkey. Then the door bell rang. The kid answered the door to his relatives and said "Alright you bitches and bastards, put your dicks and titties in the closet, my dad is upstairs wiping the shit off his face, and my mom is in the kitchen fucking the turkey!
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has 82.77 % from 5241 votes. More jokes about: dad, dirty, love, sex, Thanksgiving
Two friends talk: "Hi, what are you doing?" "Not much, writing a Valentine's Day greeting card." "Why are you writing it with your left hand? Are you left-handed?" "No, I just can't let my right hand to see it. It's a surprise for it."
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has 66.98 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: dirty, friendship, Valentines day
Q: Why is a woman's pussy like a warm toilet seat? A: They both feel good, but you wonder who was there before you.
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has 75.12 % from 101 votes. More jokes about: dirty, women
Q: What's a horny pirate's worst nightmare? A: A sunken chest with no booty!
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has 80.86 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: dirty, pirate
A kid walks into a class with a shirt, pants, underwear, and socks the teacher asks, "Where have you been?" The boy says, "On top of blueberry hill." Then another boy walks in with no shirt and no socks and the teacher says, "Where have you been?" The boy says, "On top of blueberry hill." Then a girl walks in and the teacher asks, "Where have you been? Oh, let me guess on top of blueberry hill." and the girl says, "No, I am blueberry hill."
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has 78.16 % from 291 votes. More jokes about: dirty, kids, teacher
Q: What does a lesbian have in common with a mechanic? A: Snap-on tools!
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has 73.32 % from 294 votes. More jokes about: dirty, lesbian, mechanic
When I was younger I used to think having sex was kissing naked. One day after showering my dog came in the restroom, so I kissed him on the head, after realizing what I did I ran downstairs, and told my mom that I had sex with the dog, you can image her face after hearing this. Yep I was a very dumb child.
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has 76.80 % from 608 votes. More jokes about: dirty, dog, kids, sex
He came into my room late at night. He sat over my body, He sucked, swallowed and he left. It was terrible. It was a BLOODY MOSQUITO!
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has 57.82 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: dirty
One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Clause, "Please send me a sister." Santa Clause wrote him back, "Ok, send me your mother."
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has 84.96 % from 1135 votes. More jokes about: dirty, Santa
A man was getting ready to close his bar for the night when a robber with a ski mask burst in and pulls a gun. He yells to him, "This is a stick-up! Put all your dough in this bag!" The scared the man pleads, "Don't shoot, please! I'll do as you say!" The robber yells, "Shut up and empty the cash register!" HE says, "Okay, okay! Just don't shoot, I have a wife and kids! I'll do whatever you say!" The crook takes the money then puts the gun to the the man's head and says, Alright, now give me a bl*wjob!" "Anything!" cries Banta, "Just don't shoot!" The man starts to blow the crook. As the crook gets excited, he drops the gun. Man sees the gun on the floor, picks it up, hands it back to the crook and yells, "Hold the gun, damn it! Somebody might walk in!"
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has 82.51 % from 212 votes. More jokes about: dirty