Lets face it, there are a lot of dumb people out there. Sometimes you want to express how stupid they really are and here's how... An intellect rivaled only by garden tools. As smart as bait. Doesn't have all his dogs on one leash. Doesn't know much, but leads the league in nostril hair. Elevator doesn't go all the way to the top floor. Forgot to pay his brain bill. His belt doesn't go through all the loops. If he had another brain, it would be lonely. Missing a few buttons on his remote control. Proof that evolution CAN go in reverse. Receiver is off the hook. Surfing in Nebraska. An experiment in Artificial Stupidity. A few beers short of a six-pack. A few peas short of a casserole. The cheese slid off his cracker. Warning: Objects in mirror are dumber than they appear. Couldn't pour piss out of a boot with instructions on the heel. He fell out of the stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down. Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.
I hear Taylor Swift's ex boyfriends are collabing on a new single called "Maybe You're The Problem".
What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name? You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.
What is a man's definition of safe sex? A padded headboard.
How are men like noodles? They're always in hot water, they lack taste, and they need dough.
Two friends meet each other on the street.”Hello! Where are you coming from?” asked Bill.” Oh, don’t ask me! I’m coming from the cemetery. I just buried my mother-in-law” replied Sid. ”I’m so sorry!” said Bill, “But why is your face scratched all over?”. ”It wasn’t so easy!” said Sid, “She put on a hell of a fight!”
Men are like buses. They have spare tires and smell funny.
Did you hear about the man who spent too much of his company's money on Viagra? Now he's hard up.
What does a man call true love? An erection.
Why do jocks play on artificial turf? To keep them from grazing.