Lets face it, there are a lot of dumb people out there.
Sometimes you want to express how stupid they really are and here's how...
An intellect rivaled only by garden tools.
As smart as bait.
Doesn't have all his dogs on one leash.
Doesn't know much, but leads the league in nostril hair.
Elevator doesn't go all the way to the top floor.
Forgot to pay his brain bill.
His belt doesn't go through all the loops.
If he had another brain, it would be lonely.
Missing a few buttons on his remote control.
Proof that evolution CAN go in reverse.
Receiver is off the hook.
Surfing in Nebraska.
An experiment in Artificial Stupidity.
A few beers short of a six-pack.
A few peas short of a casserole.
The cheese slid off his cracker.
Warning: Objects in mirror are dumber than they appear.
Couldn't pour piss out of a boot with instructions on the heel.
He fell out of the stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down.
Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.
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Why is sleeping with a man like a soap opera?
Just when it's getting interesting, they're finished until next time.
Why did God create man?
Because a vibrator can't mow the lawn.
Q: What is difference between man and Superman?
A: Man wears underwear under the trouser and superman wears it over the trouser.
Husband: What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?
Wife: Turn sideways and look in the mirror.
What is the difference between a man and E.T.?
E.T. phoned home.
Three men go on a skiing trip, but when they get to the HOTEL they find out that the hotel have mucked up their rooms and they have to share one big bed.
When they wake up the guy on the left says I had a well strange dream last night that I was getting a hand job, and then the guy on the right goes thats strange O had the same dream I was getting a hand job.
Then the guy in the middle goes well thats strange because I had a dream I was skiing!
Vote:
Why do only 10% of men make it to heaven?
Because if they all went, it would be Hell.
Q: What would it be a good idea for you to do after a man takes your wife?
A: Let him keep her!
How can you tell if a man is lying?
You can see his lips moving.