Joke #4849

What does a Blonde say after multiple orgasms? Way to go team!

Two sperm are in the body looking for the egg when one of them starts to wonder why it is taking so long. He asks the other sperm, "aren't we near the uterus yet?" "No," replied the other sperm, "we haven't even gotten to the esophagus."

Yo mama so fat when you have sex with her you have to slap her stomach and ride the wave in.

My husband told me to find him the best penis enlargement product. So I gave him a magnifying glass!

What do you call men who use the pull out method? Fathers.

My wife and I really love bondage. She loves it because she's a kinky bitch. I love it because I get to gag her for a couple of hours.

There were three nuns, they all told the priest that they were going to do one sin each. So the priest says ok, do your sins, come back, and I’ll bless you. So, they went to do their sins and came back to get blessed. The priest asked the first one who was laughing what her sin was. She said, "I had sex with a guy." The priest said ok, blessed her and said go drink some holy water. So she did! The next one was laughing harder, and the priest asked her what her sin was. She said, "I got in a fight with another nun." So he says ok, blessed her and told her to go drink some holy water. So she did. The priest asked the last one who was laughing even harder what she did. And as she was laughing she said, "I pissed in the holy water!"

What's worse than finding a dead baby on your pillow in the morning? Realizing you were drunk and made love to it the night before.

Grandmother is so stupid, she’s gone on the pill because she doesn’t want any more grandchildren.

What’s the difference between erotic and kinky? Erotic is using a feather. Kinky is using the whole chicken.

Johnny wanted to have sex with a girl in his office. But she belonged to someone else... One day, Johnny got so frustrated that he went up to her and said, "I'll give you a Ł100 if you let me have sex with you." But the girl said, "NO." Johnny said, "I'll be fast. I'll throw the money on the floor, you bend down, and I'll be finished by the time you pick it up." She thought for a moment and said that she would have to consult her boyfriend... So she called her boyfriend and told him the story. Her boyfriend says, "Ask him for Ł200, pick up the money very fast, he won't even be able to get his pants down." So she agrees and accepts the proposal. Half an hour goes by, and the boyfriend is waiting for his girlfriend to call. Finally, after 45 minutes, the boyfriend calls and asks what happened. She responded, "The bastard used coins!"