What does a Blonde say after multiple orgasms?
Way to go team! 
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A priest took a beautiful girl in his bedroom.
He put a Bible on the bed and asked the girl to lie on the bed.
When the priest tried to have sex with her, the girl shouted:
"Father, what are you doing?"
The priest replied "Calm down my child.
Holy Bible under you, Holy Father above you and Holy water passing through."
Kamasutra says:
If you suck one nipple, the women herself offers the other one.
And that was the origin of "buy one get one free"!
Q: What' is Hillary Clinton favorite movies?
A: Kill BILL 1 and 2.
*My dad helping me find a gf*
Dad: What do you want most in a woman?
Me: My dick.
*Grounded and high fived*
I think you’ll find that any of my lady companions will tell you I’m a ‘five times a night man’.
I really shouldn’t drink so much tea before I go to bed.
Q: What does a gay order in a Chinese restaurant?
A: Sum Yung Gi.
What's worse than finding a dead baby on your pillow in the morning?
Realizing you were drunk and made love to it the night before.
An old lady went to visit her dentist.
When it was her turn she sat in the chair, lowered her underpants and raised her legs.
The dentist said: "Excuse me; I 'm not a gynecologist."
"I know," said the old lady "I want you to take my husband's teeth out."
This old guy goes into a church in a small town in the hills of Italy and asks the priest to hear his confession.
The priest listens and then asks, "Is there anything else?"
The old guy says, "During the war, when I was young, a beautiful Germam girl came to my farm after escaping and asked me if I would hide her. I told her I would if she provided me with sexual favors."
The priest replies, "Don't worry about it. It was wartime and you both were under a lot of pressure."
The old guy says, "Does that mean that I have to tell her that the war is over?"