Joke #4851

Scientists have finally discovered what is wrong with the female brain. On the left side, there is nothing right, and on the right side, there is nothing left.

Think of the hottest woman. Chuck Norris did her.

A soldier serving overseas far from home was annoyed and upset when his girl wrote to break off their engagement and ask for her photograph back. He went out and collected from his friends all the unwanted photographs of women that he could find, bundled them all together, and sent them back with a note saying, “I regret that I cannot remember which one you are. Please keep your photo and return the others.”

A woman walks into a supermarket and buys: 1 bar of soap 1 toothbrush 1 tube of toothpaste 1 loaf of bread 1 pint of milk 1 single serving of cereal 1 single serving frozen dinner 1 can of Soup For One 1 16oz can of Miller Lite The guy at the checkout looks at her and says, "Single, are you?" The woman smiles sweetly and replies, "How did you guess?" He replies, “Because you’re ugly.”

In the beginning of time, God created the world and then rested. Then he created man and rested. Then God created woman. Since then neither God nor man has rested.

Q: What do you call a women who does as much work as a man? A: A lazy b*tch.

Husband: "Right now, for this Women's Day, I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world!" Wife: "Oh dear, I will miss you!"

What's the difference between a white naked woman and a black naked woman? The white girl is seen in Playboy and the black chick is seen on National Geographic.

How many men does it take to please a woman. Impossible. Once a woman's done bitching about the men they're all asleep.

Have you heard about the new aftershave that drives women crazy? No! Tell me about it. It smells of $50 dollar bills.

A drunk sitting at a bar observes a very snobby woman participating in a wine tasting contest. She was very good at identifying the wine. At the first taste she says: "Cabernet Sauvignon, 1998" and all the people were amazed. At the 2nd try she answers "Cabernet Sauvignon, 1953" and they were once again amazed. Then the drunk pisses in a glass and hands it to her. She tries it and says "Yak, this tastes like piss!" And the drunk says, "Yeah, but what year was I born?"