Joke #4860

What kind of rings do men need for marriage? Engagement Ring Wedding Ring Suffe-Ring Endu-Ring
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has 46.20 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: marriage

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We are already 2 years together with my girlfriend and decided to get married. My parents helped as much as they could and all my my friends said it’s a really good idea! My girlfriend? She is a dream! But there is something that bothers me! This something is her little sister… This is my future 20 years old sister-in-law , wearing a super skinny, mini skirts and short blouses. Always lean ahead and I was often lucky to see her underwear. She never did that in front of someone else! One day she calls me and asks me to go home to see the wedding invitations. When I arrived she was alone. She whispered that soon I get married and that she has feelings for me for long time and that she thinks she cann’t overcome them. She also said that she desperately wanted to have sex with me just once before I marry her sister. I was shocked and could not say a word… She said to me that she goes to bed and asked if I wanted to go up with her. I froze and looked at her going up the stairs. Going up, she took her panties off and threw it at me. I stayed there for a moment and then ran to the door. I opened it and I walked to the car. My future father-in-law was standing outside with tears in his eyes, hugged me and said: "I’m glad you passed this little test and I am sure that my daughter could not find a better man. Welcome to the family, my son!" Moral Lesson: Always keep your condoms in your car!
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married. The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.
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has 45.52 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: marriage
What do you do if your best friend runs off with your husband? Miss her. Pity her.
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has 38.75 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: marriage
Men and women can be friends without any sex involved. It's called marriage.
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has 74.36 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: marriage, sex
Q: If Bigamy is having one wife too much, what is Monogamy? A: The Same!
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has 81.77 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: marriage, mean, wife
My wife and I have agreed never to go to bed angry with one another. So far we’ve been up for three weeks.
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has 84.47 % from 210 votes. More jokes about: marriage
An old woman wanted to travel by bus to the pet cemetery with the remains of her cat. As she boarded the bus, she whispered to the driver, I have a dead pussy. The driver pointed to the woman in the seat behind him and said, "Sit with my wife. You two have a lot in common."
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has 47.97 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: age, cat, marriage, old people, wife
Q: Why is a laundromat a really bad place to pick up women? A: Because a woman who can't afford her own washing machine won't be able to support you.
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has 45.82 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: marriage
A bank robber wanted to keep his identity secret, but didn't wear a balaclava. He told all in the bank not to look at him or he would shoot them. One foolhardy customer sneaked a look, and the robber promtply shot him. The robber asked if anyone else had seen his face. One customer, gazing intently at the ground, said "I think my wife got a glimpse"
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has 71.35 % from 356 votes. More jokes about: marriage, wife
A man and his wife went to bed one night and the man was getting very frisky and asked his wife if she was in the mood. His wife answered, "Not tonight dear I have a headache." The man replied, "Is that your final answer"? She said, "Yes." ...He said. "Ok, then, I'd like to phone a friend."
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has 41.83 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: marriage