Joke #3401

A man walks into a barber shop and says, "I'll have a shave and a shoe shine." The barber lathers his face and sharpens the straight edge while a woman with the biggest, most beautiful breasts he has ever seen kneels down and shines his shoes. The man says, "You and I should spend some time in a hotel room." She replies, "My husband wouldn't like that." The man says, "Tell him you're working overtime, and I'll pay you the difference." She says, "You tell him. He's the one shaving you."
Vote:
has 85.38 % from 722 votes. More jokes about: marriage

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

A wife says, "Hey! Look at that funny guy who's been drinking a lot." The husband responds, "Who is he?" The wife answers, "Well, five years ago, he was my boyfriend and I denied him for marriage." "Oh my God! He's still celebrating his freedom!" says the husband.
Vote:
has 80.86 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, life, marriage, mean, men
A married couple go to a restaurant. A blonde waitress takes their order and returns several minutes later, carrying a plate with only a plain hamburger bun on it. The man asks, "Where's the burger?" The waitress lifts her arm and pulls out a burger from her armpit. "I was keeping it warm," she replies. The wife says, "Please cancel my hot dog order."
Vote:
has 59.75 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: blonde, disgusting, dog, food, marriage
Marriage is not a lottery – you get a chance in a lottery.
Vote:
has 50.70 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: marriage
Girl to fiancé: ‘When we’re married I want to share all your troubles and worries.’ Fiancé: ‘But I don’t have any troubles and worries.’ Girl: ‘I know, but we’re not married yet.’
Vote:
has 85.35 % from 215 votes. More jokes about: marriage
1st man: It is sickening the way my wife keps talking about her ex husband.. 2nd man: Than's nothing, mine keps talking about her next husband.
Vote:
has 56.66 % from 66 votes. More jokes about: husband, marriage, wife
A newlywed couple on their honeymoon prepares to see each other naked for the first time. The husband exposes his knotted and twisted feet. He explains, "I had tolio as a child." The wife asks if he means polio. He says, "No, it only affects the toes." He removes his pants and reveals deformed knees. He admits, "I had kneesles, too." Finally, he pulls off his boxers. In shock, the woman gasps, "Oh no...smallcox, too!"
Vote:
has 54.60 % from 97 votes. More jokes about: couple, holiday, husband, marriage
Little Johnny: Dad, Is it true? I heard that in some countries where arranged marriage is a custom, a man doesn't know his wife until he marries! Father: Son, that happens everywhere, after marriage you find out everything!”
Vote:
has 63.97 % from 167 votes. More jokes about: dad, little Johnny, marriage
Looking back over the years that we’ve been together, I can’t help but wonder: what the hell was I thinking? ‘Eighty per cent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.’ Jackie Mason
Vote:
has 62.37 % from 77 votes. More jokes about: marriage
If you want to drive your wife crazy don’t talk in your sleep, just smile.
Vote:
has 62.37 % from 80 votes. More jokes about: marriage
Q: Why did the married man sell his complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica? A: He didn't need them any longer his damn wife knows everything.
Vote:
has 48.13 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: marriage, wife