I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.
Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
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Similar jokes
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Q: What did one female terrorist say to the other?
A: "Does my bomb look big in this?"
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Q: How do you make a cat go ‘woof’?
A: Soak it in petrol, and set it on fire.
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Who's the most famous Jewish cook in history?
Hitler.
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Why did the cannibal live on his own?
He was fed up with other people.
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Did you hear about the cannibal family who were caught spying by the witch-doctor?
They were given a right roasting.
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What's purple, covered in pus and squeals?
A peeled baby in a bag of salt.
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A Liberal died and a friend went around collecting for a fund for his funeral.
A woman was asked to donate ten dollars.
"Ten dollars?" she said.
"It only takes ten dollars to bury a Liberal? Here's a hundred - go bury 10 of them!"
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Why do orphans like playing tennis?
Because it's the only love they get.
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Two clones are on a roof.
One clone pushes the other clone off.
The next day the police arrest him for making an obscene clone fall.
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Q: How many dead babies does it take to shingle a roof?
A: Depends on how thin you slice them.
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