I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.
Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
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Similar jokes
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Q: What was Hitler's favorite drink?
A: Concentrated jews.
*Wakes up to wife and son screaming*
Me: "What are you guys yelling about?"
Them: "You're driving!"
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What do you call a nun in a wheel chair?
Virgin mobile.
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Q: What's blue and doesn't fit?
A: A dead epileptic.
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Q: What do you tell someone you didn't see at New Year's Eve?
A: I haven't seen you for a year!
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Always go to other people’s funerals, or they won’t go to yours.
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In the war, a German ship suspected that they were being tracked by an Irish submarine.
Unfortunately, they had used up all of their depth-charges.
As an alternative, one of their Divers decided to swim down to the submarine and knock on the door.
So a guy is walking with a young boy into the woods.
Boy "Hey mister its getting dark out and I'm scared."
Man "How do you think I feel, I have to walk back alone."
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It is interesting how different nations have their dogs make different sounds.
An American dog goes Woof, a Czech dog goes Haf, a Dutch dog goes Blaf and a Chinese dog goes Sizzle.
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