Joke #4885

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
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First cannibal: "Come and have dinner in our but tonight." Second cannibal: "What are you having?" First cannibal: "Hard-boiled legs."
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What do you buy a dead baby for its birthday? A dead puppy!
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Anal sex is like your first car - you dont really want it, but your dad gave it to you anyways.
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What's the difference between a dead baby and a Styrofoam cup? A dead baby doesn't harm the atmosphere when you burn it.
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Q: Why did the boy fall off the swing? A: He didn't have any arms.
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What’s the difference between a dead baby and an onion. You don’t cry when you chop up a dead baby.
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My dad was a complicated man. He was a huge racist, my dad, but he still tried to be a good father, you know? Like, he would tell me that Santa Claus was black — that way, when I found out he didn't exist, it wouldn't be that big a let down.
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This old man and woman were on a cruise and it was really stormy. They were standing on the back of the boat watching the moon when a wave came up and washed the old woman overboard. They searched for days and couldn't find her so the captain sent the old man back to shore with the promise that he would notify him as soon as they found something. Three weeks went by and finally the old man got a fax from the boat it read: "Sir, sorry to inform you, we found your wife dead at the bottom of the ocean. We hauled her up to the deck and attached to her very most private part was an oyster and inside it was a pearl worth $50,000 ...please advise." So the old man faxed back: "Send me the pearl and re-bait the trap..."
Vote: has 71.14 % from 157 votes. Send joke:

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