I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.
Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
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Similar jokes
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Two kids were talking together.
First: "My daddy is so tall that he can touch the clouds in the sky with his hands."
Second: "That is excellent. Does your daddy touch something soft and downy?"
First: "Yes, of course."
Second: "Those are my daddy's testicles."
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Two best friends are lying on the beach and discussing:
"Last night I saw a terrible nightmare…"
"What did you see?"
"I saw my mother-in-law swimming in the sea and being chase by a shark…"
"Wow horror!"
"Horror?! You say nothing! She almost got away!"
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Q: What's the slowest thing on 80 wheels?
A: A Mexican funeral with only two sets of jumper cables.
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Q: Why did Hitler kill himself?
A: He saw his gas bill.
Q. Which famous celebrity has had the most children over the last 10 years?
A. Michael Jackson
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John Leslie has been accused of raping a disabled black girl on Blue Peter.
He blamed it on dyslexia & said he thought the script said, use sticky black spastic.
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What's the difference between an apple and a black man?
None!
They both hang from trees.
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Q: What's the difference between Santa Claus and Jews?
A: Santa comes down the chimney.
Q: Did you hear the joke about an Earthquake and Japanese nuclear reactor?
A: Not cool.
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So an old man, a Catholic priest, and a pedophile walk into a bar, and that's just one person!
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