Joke #7006

Q: How do you make a cat go ‘woof’? A: Soak it in petrol, and set it on fire.
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has 38.34 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: black humor, cat

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KFC in Asia? Korean fried cat.
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In the year 3000, animals rule the Earth; they talk and drive sportscars. An owl enters a psychologist's office. The psychologist says to the owl, "What is your problem?" The owl replies, "I always sleep at night and am awake during the day. I am an owl and we usually are awake during the night." The psychologist tells the owl to come back in two days to solve his problem, as he is very busy. The next night, a cat comes in. He says, "I always sleep during the day. Like my friends, I want to sleep during the night. Can you help?" The psychologist advises the cat to come back in one day, as he is very busy. The next day, the cat comes very, very, very early for his appointment and ends up at the same time as the owl. The cat is told to wait outside. He peeks in the owl's appointment and figures out his problem... and his address! During the next evening, when the owl usually comes in for his appointment, the cat comes in. The psychologist asks the cat why he is here instead of the owl. The cat replies, "He is here!" and poops on the floor, explaining, "I was sent to deliver him."
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What is the difference between turkey and mother-in-law? There is no difference: both are the best when they are cold on the table.
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Q: What kind of file do you need to turn a 15mm hole into a 40mm hole? A: A pedophile.
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Which is the only day you you are safe in a cannibal village? Sitter days (when they eat the baby-sitter instead)!
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None of my friends laugh at any of my jokes because cats can only meow.
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Q: What's the difference between Santa Claus and Jews? A: Santa comes down the chimney.
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What happens if you upset a cannibal? You get into hot water.
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A drunk guy took a cat home to his wife and said: "See... here is the a monkey of the jungle." His wife said laughing, "That's a CAT ..." He said back to his wife, "I am talking to the cat!"
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has 69.29 % from 92 votes. More jokes about: animal, cat, drunk, men, wife
In what type of weather is the vet the busiest? When its raining cats and dogs.
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has 20.39 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: animal, cat, dog, weather