Q: How do you make a cat go ‘woof’?
A: Soak it in petrol, and set it on fire.
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Similar jokes
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KFC in Asia?
Korean fried cat.
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Woman delivers baby.
Doctor takes the baby, and throws it, smashing around the hospital room, drop-kicking it, etc.
Mother starts freaking out, being held back by nurses, begging "WHY!?"
Doctor holds baby upside down by the ankle and says "I'm just fucking with you, it was born dead".
Q: What has two legs and bleeds?
A: Half a cat.
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How do you know if an Asian robbed you?
Your homework is done and cats gone.
Want to hear a clean joke?
The boy took a bath with bubbles.
Want to hear a dirty joke?
Bubbles was a man.
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A cat died and went to heaven. St. Peter said to the cat, "Is there anything I can do to make your stay here better?"
The cat said, "I've been sleeping on a cold floor and I'd love a warm pillow to sleep on.
St. Peter gave a pillow to the cat, and the cat headed off to bed.
Later, some mice came to St. Peter. They wanted roller skates to get around faster so St. Peter gave them their skates and the mice went off.
The next evening St. Peter checks in on the cat. "How was your night last night?"
The cat said "That pillow you gave me is really nice, but what I like the most about heaven is the Meals on Wheels."
Q: What's blue and doesn't fit?
A: A dead epileptic.
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Patient: "Doctor, my son has swallowed a pen. What can I do?"
Doctor: "Use a pencil till I come to see your son."
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Q: What did one female terrorist say to the other?
A: "Does my bomb look big in this?"
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