Joke #7006

Q: How do you make a cat go ‘woof’? A: Soak it in petrol, and set it on fire.
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has 38.55 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: black humor, cat

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A blind man with a guide dog comes to a town square, takes the dog by the tail and starts whirling him around. „What on earth are you doing?!" asks a passer-by. The blind man replies, „Nothing, just looking around a bit."
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The old man had died. A wonderful funeral was in progress and the country preacher talked at length of the good traits of the deceased, what an honest man he was, and what a loving husband and kind father he was. Finally, the widow leaned over and whispered to one of her children, "Go up there and take a look in the coffin and make sure that's your pa in there."
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None of my friends laugh at any of my jokes because cats can only meow.
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How can you help a starving cannibal? Give him a helping hand.
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A reporter was interviewing a 104 year-old woman: "And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?" the reporter asked. She simply replied, "No peer pressure."
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Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray this cushy life to keep. I pray for toys that look like mice, And sofa cushions, soft and nice. I pray for gourmet kitty snacks, And someone nice to scratch my back, For windowsills all warm and bright, For shadows to explore at night. I pray I'll always stay real cool And keep the secret feline rule To never tell a human that The world is really ruled by cats!
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*Wakes up to wife and son screaming* Me: "What are you guys yelling about?" Them: "You're driving!"
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Q: Who was the first cat to fly in an airplane? A: Kitty-hawk
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Chuck Norris has travelled many places and seen many faces. So too has his boot.
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