Joke #7006

Q: How do you make a cat go ‘woof’? A: Soak it in petrol, and set it on fire.
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What happened to the Pope when he went to Mount Olive? Popeye almost killed him!
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Why do Mexicans eat beans for dinner? So they can take bubble baths.
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How do you make a dead baby float? Take your foot off of it’s head.
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An Arabic kid joined my football team. All he did was blow the plays.
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One day there was a woman who lost her cat named "LOVE." It was pretty dark outside and she lived in New York. So, thinking that he might be down the street, she put on her house-coat and went looking for him. When a police officer stopped to ask what she was doing, she said very honestly, "I'm looking for LOVE." The policeman arrested her on the spot.
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If Chuck Norris were a cat he would have ten lives.
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The only church which is disseminating light and warmth is the burning church.
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There was a hysterical call at the fire department, and it went like this: "Help me, please help me! There is a cat meowing and yowling with frequency and urgency. It is going to hurt me, it's going to kill me, can you please help me, and send the fire squad right away?" "Take it easy, cats don’t hurt us, just relax wait until he leaves." "You don’t understand it is going to bite me, it is going to kill me, it is going to be fatal!" "Cats aren’t like snakes or spiders that are poisonous, by the way who is calling?" "I’m Josephine’s parrot you jerk!" "Help me please, please help!"
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What goes: "Click-is that it? Click-is that it? Click-is that it?" A blind person with a rubix cube.
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Cats are allergic to Chuck Norris.
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