Q: How do you make a cat go ‘woof’?
A: Soak it in petrol, and set it on fire.
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KFC in Asia?
Korean fried cat.
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How do you make a cat be a dog?
Pour gasoline on it and light it with a match.
It will go 'WOOF.'
This is Captain Sinclair speaking.
On behalf of my crew I'd like to welcome you aboard British Airways flight 602 from New York to London.
We are currently flying at a height of 35,000 feet midway across the Atlantic.
If you look out of the windows on the starboard side of the aircraft, you will observe that both the starboard engines are on fire.
If you look out of the windows on the port side, you will observe that the port wing has fallen off.
If you look down towards the Atlantic ocean, you will see a little yellow life raft with three people in it waving at you.
That's me your captain, the co-pilot, and one of the air stewardesses.
This is a recorded message.
Have a good flight!
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How do you stop an Iraqi tank?
"Just shoot the guy that's pushing it!"
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Q: What do women and cats have in common?
A: Pussy farts.
Q: Why did the silly kid try to feed pennies to the cat?
A: Because his mother told him to put money in the kitty.
A woman took her dog to the vet. She said, "I think my dog is dead". The doctor laid the dog on the table and reached down and took a cat out of a box. The cat walked all over the dog and the dog didn't move. "Yes, your dog is dead," says the doctor.
"How much do I owe you?" the lady asks.
"$345," says the doctor.
"$345!!?" the lady asks.
"Yes. $45 for the office visit and $300 for the cat scan."
Q: What is worst than raining black cats and bloodhounds?
A: Hailing taxi cabs!
First cannibal: "I can't find anything to eat!"
Second cannibal: "But the jungle's full of people."
First cannibal: "Yes, but they're all very unsavory."
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