Q: How do you make a cat go ‘woof’?
A: Soak it in petrol, and set it on fire.
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KFC in Asia?
Korean fried cat.
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A blind man with a guide dog comes to a town square, takes the dog by the tail and starts whirling him around.
„What on earth are you doing?!" asks a passer-by.
The blind man replies, „Nothing, just looking around a bit."
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The old man had died.
A wonderful funeral was in progress and the country preacher talked at length of the good traits of the deceased, what an honest man he was, and what a loving husband and kind father he was.
Finally, the widow leaned over and whispered to one of her children, "Go up there and take a look in the coffin and make sure that's your pa in there."
None of my friends laugh at any of my jokes because cats can only meow.
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How can you help a starving cannibal?
Give him a helping hand.
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A reporter was interviewing a 104 year-old woman:
"And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?" the reporter asked.
She simply replied, "No peer pressure."
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Joke has 81.86 % from 121 votes. More jokes about: age, black humor, communication, death, old people
Now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray this cushy life to keep.
I pray for toys that look like mice,
And sofa cushions, soft and nice.
I pray for gourmet kitty snacks,
And someone nice to scratch my back,
For windowsills all warm and bright,
For shadows to explore at night.
I pray I'll always stay real cool
And keep the secret feline rule
To never tell a human that
The world is really ruled by cats!
*Wakes up to wife and son screaming*
Me: "What are you guys yelling about?"
Them: "You're driving!"
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Q: Who was the first cat to fly in an airplane?
A: Kitty-hawk
Chuck Norris has travelled many places and seen many faces.
So too has his boot.
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