Joke #7006

Q: How do you make a cat go ‘woof’? A: Soak it in petrol, and set it on fire.

KFC in Asia? Korean fried cat.

Two foreign immigrants have just arrived in the United States by boat and one says to the other, "I hear that the people of this country actually eat dogs." "Odd," her companion replies, "but if we shall live in America, we might as well do as the Americans do." Nodding emphatically, one of the immigrants points to a hot dog vendor and they both walk toward the cart. "Two dogs, please," she says. The vendor is only too pleased to oblige, wraps both hot dogs in foil and hands them over the counter. Excited, the companions hurry to a bench and begin to unwrap their "dogs." One of them opens the foil and begins to blush. Staring at it for a moment, she turns to her friend and whispers cautiously, "What part did you get?"

How did the tugboat get AIDS? It was rear-ended by a ferry.

Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray this cushy life to keep. I pray for toys that look like mice, And sofa cushions, soft and nice. I pray for gourmet kitty snacks, And someone nice to scratch my back, For windowsills all warm and bright, For shadows to explore at night. I pray I'll always stay real cool And keep the secret feline rule To never tell a human that The world is really ruled by cats!

Chuck Norris isn't a cat person but if he was, he would own 3 lions, a snow leopard, and cougar.

Why did Beyonce sing 'to the left', 'to the left'? Because black people have no rights...

Q: How many Jews can you fit in a car? A: 2 in the back 2 in the front and 6.23 million in the ashtray.

Q: How are women and a hurricane alike? A: When they arrive they're both wet and wild, when they leave, they take your house and your car.

They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what that pussy needs.

Doctor: "You have cataract in your eyes. But you need not worry It is hereditary." Patient: "Death is also hereditary. Does it mean we should not worry about it?"