Q: What do you call a cow during an earthquake?
A: A milk shake.
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What is the golden rule for cows?
Do unto udders as you would have udders do to you.
I've just discovered a method for making wool out of milk.
But doesn't that make the cow feel a little sheepish?
"I’m in a big trouble!"
"Why is that?"
"I saw a mouse in my house!"
"Oh, well, all you need to do is use a trap."
"I don’t have one."
"Well then, buy one."
"Can’t afford one."
"I can give you mine if you want."
"That sounds good."
"All you need to do is just use some cheese in order to make the mouse come to the trap."
"I don’t have any cheese."
"Okay then, take a piece of bread and put a bit of oil in it and put it in the trap."
"I don’t have oil."
"Well, then put only a small piece of bread."
"I don’t have bread."
"Then what is the mouse doing at your house?"
Q: Why do mother kangaroos hate rainy days?
A: Because then the children have to play inside.
Q:Why do ducks have webbed feet?
A:To stamp out fires.
Q:Why do elephants have flat feet?
A:To stamp out burning ducks
Q. What do frogs do with paper?
A. Rip-it!
How did the calf's final exam turn out?
Grade A.
Q: What do you get when you cross an alligator with a road runner?
A: A 100 mph nigger eater.
How do you confuse a frog?
Put it in a round bowl and tell it to take a nap in the corner.
