Q: What do you call a cow during an earthquake?
A: A milk shake.
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Chuck Norris once round house kicked a bear while on a survival trek in Siberia.
That incident was known as the Tunguska event.
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What South American dance do cows like to do?
The Rump-a.
What do you get when you cross an Owl and a Rooster?
A cock that stays up all night.
Why did the duck get arrested?
because he was selling quack.
Imagine being completely naked in room full of people who speak a different language and everyone wants to touch you...
This is life of a dog.
Chuck Norris once uppercut a horse and that is how the giraffe was created.
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A computer programmer happens across a frog in the road.
The frog pipes up, "I'm really a beautiful princess and if you kiss me, I'll stay with you for a week".
The programmer shrugs his shoulders and puts the frog in his pocket.
A few minutes later, the frog says "OK, OK, if you kiss me, I'll give you great sex for a week".
The programmer nods and puts the frog back in his pocket.
A few minutes later, "Turn me back into a princess and I'll give you great sex for a whole year!"
The programmer smiles and walks on.
Finally, the frog says, "What's wrong with you? I've promised you great sex for a year from a beautiful princess and you won't even kiss a frog?"
"I'm a programmer," he replies.
"I don't have time for sex.But a talking frog is pretty neat."
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Chuck Norris and Jean-Claude Van Damme play tug a war with live annacondas.
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A woman gets onto a bus with her baby.
The bus driver says, "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen.
Ugh!"
The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming.
She says to a man next to her, "The driver just insulted me!"
The man says, "There's no call for that.
You go right up there and tell him off.
Go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."