Joke #4905

Q: What do you call a cow during an earthquake? A: A milk shake.
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Gemma:My dog doesn't have a nose. Ortoise: How does he smell? Gemma: Awful!
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What has antlers, pulls Father Christmas sleigh and is made of cement? I don't know. A reindeer. What about the cement? I just threw that in to make it hard.
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How can you tell when a skunk is angry? It raises a stink.
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Which rabbits were famous bank robbers? Bunny and Clyde.
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A monkey goes into a bar and asks the barman: - Do you have any bananas? - No,I don't. ( says the barman) - Do you have any bananas? (asks the monkey) - No,I have not got any bananas! - Do you have any bananas? - If you ask me that question one more time, I'll nail your tongue to the counter! - Do you have any nails? - No,I don't. - Do you have any bananas?
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How can you tell that elephants have been doing it in your garage? All your Hefty Bags are missing.
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What's green green green green green? A frog rolling down a hill.
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A snail starts a slow climb up the trunk of an apple tree. He is watched by a sparrow who can't help laughing and eventually says "Don't you know there aren't any apples on the tree yet?" "Yes," said the snail, "but there will be by the time I get up there."
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Why was cow afraid? He was a cow-herd.
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A man goes into a pub with a cat sitting on his head. The barman pulls him a pint and says,‘Look I don’t know if you know it but there’s a cat sitting on your head.’ ‘What of it?’ asks the man.‘I always wear a cat on my head on a Monday.’ ‘But today’s Tuesday,’ replies the barman. ‘Oh God.Is it?’ says the man. ‘I must look a right prat.’
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