Q: What do you call a cow during an earthquake?
A: A milk shake.
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Two snakes are talking.
One of them turns to the other and asks, "Are we venomous?"
The other replays, "Yes,why?..."
"I just bit ma lip."
Mommy Bear and Daddy Bear were in divorce court.
The judge looked down and asked the Baby Bear, "So Baby Bear, do you want to live with Daddy Bear?"
"Oh, no," Baby Bear replied, "I don't want to live with Daddy Bear.
He beat me." "Well then, you should live with Mommy Bear," answered the judge.
"On, no, I don't want to live with Mommy Bear. She beat me."
"Well then, Baby Bear, who do you want to live with?" Baby Bear said,
"I want to live with the Chicago Bears. They don't beat anybody!"
Q: What is a black cat's favorite color?
A: Purrrrrr-ple!
Q: Why do bunnies have soft sex?
A: They have cotton balls.
What do you call a cow who argues with her husband?
A bullfighter.
Two shepherds lean on their crooks at the end of a long day and the first asks the second, "So, how's it going?"
The second one sighed and shook his head, "Not good, I can't pay my bills, my health isn't good, my kids don't respect me, and my wife is leaving me."
The first replied, "Well, don't lose any sheep over it."
Why do police dogs lick their balls?
To get the taste of Nigger out their mouths.
What happens to a frog's car when it breaks down?
It gets toad away.
A woman went to the doctor's and complained of being really sore.
"Do you have any idea why?"
"Well, I had sex with an elephant!"
"You did?
But elephants are known to have small penises!"
"Yeah, but he fingered me first."