Joke #4889

A blind man with an assistance dog was getting ready to cross the street. When the dog took him across he almost got ran over by the traffic and the cars where sliding everywhere to avoid hitting him. When he got to the other side, he took out a treat to give to the dog. A spectator who saw what happened couldn't believe his eyes. He ran over to the blind man and said, "Sir, why are you rewarding that dog, he almost got you killed?" The blind man replied, "I'm trying to find his head so I can kick his ass!"
Vote: has 74.21 % from 31 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Using a novelty invisible dog leash and collar Chuck Norris won the Westminster Dog Show.
Vote: has 62.61 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, game
Q: What's the difference between Chuck Norris and a bear? A: Chuck Norris has more chest hair.
Vote: has 73.52 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris
A turtle was walking down an alley in New York when he was mugged by a gang of snails. A police detective came to investigate and asked the turtle if he could explain what happened. The turtle looked at the detective with a confused look on his face and replied "I don't know, it all happened so fast."
Vote: has 60.16 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal
What animal do you look like when you get into the bath? A little bear.
Vote: has 60.16 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal
Two snakes were crawling along when one snake asked the other, "Are we poisonous?" The other replied, "You're darn right we are! We're rattlesnakes. Why do you ask?" To which the first replied, "Because I just bit my tongue"
Vote: has 76.32 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal
What's the best way to make a bull sweat? Put him in a tight jumper !
Vote: has 64.78 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal
What's black and white and rolls down the Boardwalk? A nigger and a seagull fighting over a French Fry.
Vote: has 57.28 % from 142 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, black people, food
Why do moths fly with their legs open? Cause they've got huge mothballs!
Vote: has 18.69 % from 7 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal
A rich 40 year-old American woman decided to get married, but she wanted her husband to be a virgin and to never had been with a woman all of his life. After some years of pointless searching, she didn’t found anyone with this description and forced to give an ad to the paper. A month later, she met with an Australian man who had never been with a woman before in his life and she married him immediately. On the first night of their wedding and before they lay down, she went for a quick fresh up and then went back to the bedroom, happy. When she entered the room she stood steal... She saw her husband naked to the center of the room and all the furniture on the corner of the room. "But.. What happened?" asked the woman obviously shocked. "Look.. I’ve never been with a woman, but if it’s the same as with the kangaroo, then I’ll need the whole room to catch you!"
Vote: has 79.24 % from 82 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, dirty, husband, life, marriage
A blonde desserts her home town out of shame, and colors her hair brown. She drives past a farm and sees all the sheep. She goes up to the farmer and ask, "If I guess how many sheep you have can I have one?" The farmer nodded. She continued. "159" The farmer is surprised. "How did you know?" "Lucky guess" She grabs one and gets in her car. The farmer comes up and says, "If I can guess your real hair color can I get my dog back?"
Vote: has 72.54 % from 52 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, blonde, dog, math, money