What happened when the shark became famous?
He tured into a starfish.
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Chuck Norris once won the Iditarod by pulling his team of dogs on the sled.
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Q: How can you tell if your girlfriend really likes you?
A: If you stick your hand in her pants and it feels like you're feeding a horse.
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"I can't decide whether to buy a bicycle or a cow for my farm."
"Well, wouldn't you look silly riding a cow?"
"I d look a darn sight sillier trying to milk a bicycle!"
Two cows are standing in a field.
One says to the other "Are you worried about Mad Cow Disease?"
The other one says "No, It doesn't worry me, I'm a horse!"
Q: What do you call a fight between you and your dad?
A: Dady issues!
Teacher: "Who can tell me 5 wild animals?"
Little Johnny: "2 lions & 3 wolves."
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What happened to the tiger who took a bath three times a day?
After a week he was spotless.
A farmer brought his daughter a little pot-belly pet pig.
She called it "Stinky" when she played with it out in the yard, but she called it "Ballpoint" when it was in the sty.
"Tell me," asked her father, "Why do you have two names for your pig?"
"That’s easy," she replied, "Ballpoint is just his pen name."
If it walks like a duck, talks lidek a duck, and smell like a duck but Chuck Norris says it's a girrafe. It's a damn girrafe!
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Three animals were having a drink in a cafe, when the owner asked for the money.
"I'm not paying," said the duck. "I've only got one bill and I'm not breaking it."
"I've spent my last buck," said the deer.
"Then the duck'll have to pay," said the skunk.
"Getting here cost me my last scent."