What happened when the shark became famous? He tured into a starfish.
Q: What did one lesbian frog say to the other lesbian frog? A: Gee, we really do taste like chicken!
A man goes to a bar with his dog. He goes up to the bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says "You can't bring that dog in here!" The guy, without missing a beat, says "This is my seeing-eye dog." "Oh man, " the bartender says, "I'm sorry, here, the first one's on me." The man takes his drink and goes to a table near the door. Another guy walks in the bar with a Chihuahua. The first guys sees him, stops him and says "You can't bring that dog in here unless you tell him it's a seeing-eye dog." The second man graciously thanks the first man and continues to the bar. He asks for a drink. The bartender says "Hey, you can't bring that dog in here!" The second man replies "This is my seeing-eye dog." The bartender says, "No, I don't think so. They do not have Chiwauas as seeing-eye dogs." The man pauses for a half-second and replies "What?!?! They gave me a Chihuahua?!?"
What do you call a frog with no legs? It doesn't matter- he won't come anyway.
Dog rules 1. If I like it, it's mine. 2. If its in my mouth, it's mine. 3. If I can take it from you, it's mine. 4. If I had it a little while ago, it's mine. 5. If I'm chewing something up, all the pieces are mine. 6. If its mine, it must never appear to be yours anyway. 7. If it just looks like mine, it's mine. 8. If I saw it first, it's mine. 9. If you are playing with something and you put it down, it automatically becomes mine. 10. If its broken, it's yours.
Q: What happened when the owl lost his voice? A: He didn't give a hoot!
What do cows wear when they are on vacation in Hawaii? Moo moos.
Yo' Mama is so fat, her Polo shirts come with real horses on the pocket.
What do you get from a short-legged cow? Dragon milk.
The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
Q: Why does a dog lick himself? A: He can't make a fist.