A man walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I bet you fifty dollars that I can bite my right eye."
The bartender says, "Yeah, right! I've never seen anyone do that!"
So the man takes out his glass eye and bites it.
The angry bartender pays the man his fifty dollars and the man walks away.
He comes back half an hour later and says, "I bet you fifty dollars I can bite my left eye."
Now the bartender becomes really skeptical.
She says, "I just saw you walk in here you can't be blind!"
So he takes out his fake teeth and bites his left eye.
The bartender pays him his money and he walks away.
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The bartender asks, "my goodness, why are you drinking so fast?'
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A man who smelled like a distillery flopped on a subway seat next to a priest.
The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket.
He opened his newspaper and began reading.
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"Well I'll be." the drunk muttered, returning to his paper.
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Got home from the pub at 3'o clock this morning.
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