Joke #4926

Two snakes are talking. One of them turns to the other and asks, "Are we venomous?" The other replays, "Yes,why?..." "I just bit ma lip."

A deer hunter just messed up another hunt. This happened to him more times than he could count. He would spot a buck, aim, fire and miss. He would sneak up close just to get busted and watch the deer run away. He would sneeze just as the buck came into range. He would fall asleep on the stand, waking in time to watch a giant buck scamper away. Frustrated, he complained to his hunting buddies. "Everything that happens to guys that don't know how to hunt keeps happening to me!" he said.

There was a man driving a pickup truck down a country road, when suddenly he was broad sided by a trailer truck. Some time went by, and the case got to court. The defense attorney said to the plaintiff, "How can you be suing my client now when you told a trooper after the accident that you felt fine?" The man replied. "Well sir, it was like this. We was driving down the road, minding our own business, when a big trailer truck came out of nowhere and creamed us. When I came to, I was in the ditch, and a trooper was pulling up with his car. He looked at the hogs, and they was most dead, so he shot them. Then he looked at my dog, and he was hurt real bad, so he shot him." Then he came over to me and he said, "How you feeling?" I said, "I never felt better in my life."

What is a moo hoo for a delightful ranch owner? A charmer farmer.

Law of Pill Rejection Any pill given to a cat has the potential energy to reach escape velocity.

Sharks are not living on the sea because they can't breath on continent. They live on a sea, because Chuck Norris doesn't.

What happens when you mix a frog with a bathtub scrubby-mit? A rubbit!

What are the spots on black-and-white cows? Holstaines.

What do you get from a short-legged cow? Dragon milk.

A man started to town with a fox, a goose, and a sack of corn. He came to a stream which he had to cross in a tiny boat. He could only take one across at a time. He could not leave the fox alone with the goose or the goose alone with the corn. How did he get them all safely over the stream? He took the goose over first and came back. Then he took the fox across and brought the goose back. Next he took the corn over. He came back alone and took the goose.

I applied for the position of a keeper at the zoo but turns out I was not koalafied.