Two snakes are talking. One of them turns to the other and asks, "Are we venomous?" The other replays, "Yes,why?..." "I just bit ma lip."
What's a skunk's favourite game in school? Show and smell.
Mohan (to the doctor): "Doctor, can you diagnose my Illness?" Doctor: "Your eyesight seems to be poor." Mohan: "How did you come to that conclusion?" Doctor: "You seemed to have missed noticing the sign, hung outside. This is a veterinary hospital."
Q: Where did the newlywed horses stay? A: In the bridle suite.
First Kangaroo: If you were surrounded by 30 lions, 25 elephants and 10 hippos, how would you get away from them? Second Kangaroo: Step off the merry-go-round.
Chuck Norris doesn't get shark attacked, the shark gets Chuck Norris attacked.
Q: Why did the lion brake up with his girlfriend? A: Cuz she was a CHEETAH!
A man was shipwrecked with his dog and a sheep on a tiny island in the middle of nowhere. Everytime the man moved close to the sheep, his dog would snarl and growl at him. One day while walking the island he discovered a lovely naked lady who also had just become marooned. "Finally, some company!" he thought. While sitting on the shore and the watching the sunset with his new female friend, he slowly leaned over and whispered in her ear, "Hey, could you go walk the dog?"
What do you get if you cross a bottle of water with an electric eel? A bit of a shock really.
What's the fastest way to send a rabbit? Haremail.
What is the difference between a man and a catfish? One is a bottom-feeding scum-sucker and the other is a fish.