Joke #4926

Two snakes are talking. One of them turns to the other and asks, "Are we venomous?" The other replays, "Yes,why?..." "I just bit ma lip."
Vote: has 59.93 % from 25 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

A fellow always wanted to own a pet skunk, so in the dead of winter, he took his girlfriend with him to go hunting for one. After a bit of waiting, they bagged a skunk and brought him back to the truck. The skunk was very scared and very cold, so the guy asks his girlfriend if she can keep the skunk between her legs to keep him warm. "But what about the smell?" asks his girlfriend. "Oh, he'll get used to it, just like I did."
Vote: has 31.97 % from 28 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, disgusting, hunting, relationship
Who held the baby octopus to ransom? Squidnappers.
Vote: has 64.78 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, baby
I took a day off from work to play golf. I was on the fourth hole, when I discovered a small frog sitting on the green. I paid it no attention until I heard, "Ribbit. 9-iron." That's curious, I thought, but decided to trust the frog. I pulled out a 9-iron and sunk a hole-in-one. Amazed, I picked up the frog and asked where we should go next. "Ribbit. Vegas." We went to Vegas, and I asked the frog what we should do first. "Ribbit. Roulette." We went up to the roulette table, and I won big. I took my earnings and got the best room in the hotel. I asked the frog if there was anything I could do to repay it. "Ribbit. Kiss me." I figured, what the hell, and I kissed the frog. It turned into a 15-year-old girl. That's how she ended up in my room, your Honor, and if I'm lying, my name's not R. Kelly. Tweet Share
Vote: has 74.97 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, animal, golf, life, work
A man started to town with a fox, a goose, and a sack of corn. He came to a stream which he had to cross in a tiny boat. He could only take one across at a time. He could not leave the fox alone with the goose or the goose alone with the corn. How did he get them all safely over the stream? He took the goose over first and came back. Then he took the fox across and brought the goose back. Next he took the corn over. He came back alone and took the goose.
Vote: has 54.15 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, math
What did one skunk say to another? And so do you.
Vote: has 62.61 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal
Girl: We have a mayor. Do you? Horse: Sure! Girl: What do you call it? Horse: Same as you do. Mare!
Vote: has 63.17 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal
Little Johnny's teacher said, "Johnny, your essay on My Dog is exactly the same as your sister's." Did you copy hers?, she asked. Johnny replied, "No, teacher, it's the same dog!"
Vote: has 78.76 % from 200 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, dog, little Johnny, teacher
George was taking care of a parrot for his aunt. This parrot was a very nasty parrot. It cussed and screamed and made fun of George, so he took the parrot and put it in the freezer. The parrot kept screaming and insulting George until finally it stopped. George thought to himself, “On no! I froze my aunt’s bird to death.” He opened the door and saw the bird alive! The bird said, “I’m sorry for my behaviour and will never act up again. George said, “Why the change?” The bird answered, “Because I saw what you did to the other bird."
Vote: has 59.19 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, bird, death, parrot
Customer: "Waiter, do you serve crabs?" Waiter: "Please sit down sir, we serve everyone."
Vote: has 83.08 % from 57 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, food, life
What is the longest organ in a sheep's body? A New Zealander's cock!
Vote: has 34.78 % from 6 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal