A wife told his husband to whisper her dirty things, the man then replied, "The kitchen, the living room, the conservatory and the dining room."
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An old couple celebrates their 50th wedding anniversary in their home.
"Just think," the old man says, "we were sitting here at this same breakfast table, naked as jaybirds, 50 years ago."
"Well," the old lady snickers, "what do you say, should we get naked?"
The two immediately strip to the buff and sit back down at the table.
"You know, honey," the little old lady says slyly, "My breasts burn for you now as they did 50 years ago."
"I'm not surprised," replies the old man. "One's in your coffee and the other is in your oatmeal!"
Q: How is a boss better than a wife?
A: A boss at least pays you for making your life miserable.
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I never make the same mistake twice. I make it 5-6 times, just to be sure.
That awkward moment when somebody is doing dishes and you put another dish in the sink.
What do you call an intelligent man in America?
A tourist.
A Mexican, white guy, and a black guy all go to hell and the devil told them that if they can walk across his hand without burning in flames, then he will give them a second life on earth.
The white guy was really confident...first step, he caught a fire a disappeared.
The Mexican, nervously toke the first step and noticed that he wasn't dead, he took a couple more steps and disappeared.
The black guy started walking and made it all the way across without burning to flames.
Satan was shocked and asked him how he did it and the black guy replied "chocolate melts in your mouth not your hands"
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Joke has 39.46 % from 122 votes. More jokes about: black humor, black people, chocolate, life, mexican
What do mopeds and fat ladies have in common?
They're both a great ride until someone sees you on one.
A boss took one of his employees to show his new sports car.
"That is amazing" the employee was fascinated.
"That is true" replied boss "and if you set your new goals higher and work even harder I can get an even better car next year".
A Russian captain is trying to explain to his comrades the effects of atomic bombs:
"Now, imagine 20 no, 40, no... a 100 cases of vodka and noone to drink them!"