Joke #4938

A wife told his husband to whisper her dirty things, the man then replied, "The kitchen, the living room, the conservatory and the dining room."

I did so much crack, one day I broke in my own house. I ain't lying. I was halfway out the door with the TV before I realized it was my place. And before I broke in, I used to stand outside and case the joint. Finally, I said, "Damn, this brother will never come home!"

Accordion to research, 9 out of 10 people don't notice when you replace words with random musical instruments.

Chuck Norris puts his pants on one leg at a time, just like the rest of us. The only difference is, then he kills people.

The best thing about trying to name a baby is realizing how many people you hate.

What did Mariah Carey really wanted to sing: "All I want for Christmas is you... to get hit by a reindeer."

The results of in-depth studies have determined that the most often used sexual position for marriedcouples is the "doggie position". The husband sits up and begs and the wife rolls over and plays dead.

If I had my whole life to live over again, I don’t think I’d have the strength.

Girl: What if a boy hugs me? Mom: Say Don't Girl: What if he kisses me? Mom: Say stop. The next day when the girl goes to school her boyfriend hugs and kisses her well so she says as her mother told her to do and she quickly said DON'T STOP!...

Law of employment: When leaving work late, you will mostly go unnoticed. When you leave early, you will meet your boss at the parking lot.

Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a few hours. Set him on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.