An ant and an elephant share a night of romance.
The next morning the ant wakes up and the elephant is dead.
"Shit!" says the ant.
"One night of passion and I will spend the rest of my life digging a grave!"
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What does the fox say?
Whatever the hell Chuck Norris tells him to.
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What do you call it when one bull spies on another bull?
A steak-out.
A blind man with an assistance dog was getting ready to cross the street.
When the dog took him across he almost got ran over by the traffic and the cars where sliding everywhere to avoid hitting him.
When he got to the other side, he took out a treat to give to the dog.
A spectator who saw what happened couldn't believe his eyes.
He ran over to the blind man and said, "Sir, why are you rewarding that dog, he almost got you killed?"
The blind man replied, "I'm trying to find his head so I can kick his ass!"
I have asked my mamma: "Mamma, why do we have 10 cock birds but only 1 hen?"
Mama has said to me: "Because I want that she has a better life than I had."
Fear of spiders is aracnaphobia, fear of tight spaces is chlaustraphobia, fear of Chuck Norris is called Logic
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It's call a Chuck Steak because Chuck just kicked that cow's butt.
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Whats the difference in a seagull and a babys diaper?
A seagull flits across the shore and a baby shits across the floor.
Why is a reindeer like a gossip?
Because they are both tail bearers.
What's green and red?
A very mad frog.