An ant and an elephant share a night of romance.
The next morning the ant wakes up and the elephant is dead.
"Shit!" says the ant.
"One night of passion and I will spend the rest of my life digging a grave!"
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What do a rattlesnake and a soft penis have in common?
You can't f**k with either one.
Why couldnt the teddy bear eat any more thanksgiving dinner?
He was already stuffed!
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What do you get if you cross a hippo, elephant and a rhino?
A Helephino!!
What do you call a penguin in the desert?
Lost!
A honeymooning couple had purchased a talking parrot and taken it to their room, where much to the groom's annoyance, the bird kept up a running commentary on their love making.
Finally the groom threw a large towel over the cage and threatened to give the parrot to the zoo if he didn't quit it.
The next morning, packing to return home, the couple couldn't close a large suitcase.
The groom said, "Darling, you get on top and I'll try." That didn't work.
Figuring they needed more weight on the lid, she said, "Sweetheart, you get on top and I'll try."
Still no success.
So, he said, "Look. Let's both get on top."
At that point the parrot pulled away the towel with his beak and said: "Zoo or no zoo.
I just gotta see this."
"Why cant you play cards in the jungle?"
"Because theres to many cheetahs."
What has four legs and goes, "Oom! Oom!"?
A cow walking backwards.
Two fish swim into a concrete wall.
One turns to the other and says: "Dam"
A lion once put his head inside the mouth of Chuck Norris.
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Racehorses have to pee like Chuck Norris.
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