Why can't Miss Piggy count to 100?
Because when she gets to 69 she has a frog in her throat.
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The Teacher asked Little Johnny,
"How can you prevent diseases caused by biting insects?"
Little Johnny replied, "Just Don't bite any."
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The last time Chuck Norris was hungry, all the dinosaurs suddenly got extinct...
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Law of Cat Composition
A cat is composed of Matter + Anti-Matter + It Doesn't Matter.
As horses say to one another.
Any friend of yours is a palomino!
Two guys meet:
"Where were you lost my friend? says one of them."
"Well, I took my kids to the zoo..."
"And what kind of animals did you see there?"
"The tiger... Huge and Scary! Full of stripes... Slowly walking inside the cage. She was “ahgrrr...”
"Are you kidding me men? The tiger doesn’t go “ahgrrr..” … She “grrrrsss..”!
"Right, ok.. But when you get too close to her face... !"
Q: What do squirrels give for Valentine's Day?
A: Forget-me-nuts.
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Q: What's long and thin and covered with skin and nobody knows how many holes its been in.
A: A worm.
I threw a ball for my dog...
It's a bit extravagant I know, but it was his birthday and he looks great in a dinner jacket.
Q: What is height of De-hydration?
A: A cow giving milk powder.