Joke #3570

Why can't Miss Piggy count to 100? Because when she gets to 69 she has a frog in her throat.
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has 42.25 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal

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An elderly couple was just settled down for bed when the old man realized he left the lights on in the greenhouse in the back yard. Then they heard voices. Three men had broken into the greenhouse. Scared, they called the police. The dispatcher replied, he would send an officer as soon as one became available as they were all out on calls. The old man waited for a few minutes and called Dispatch again. He told Dispatch, "Don't worry about sending an officer, I shot the robbers and now the dogs are eating their bodies!" In no time at all, police were all over the place and captured the robbers red-handed! One of the cops asked the old man, "I thought you said you shot the robber and your dogs were eating them. " The old man replied, "I thought you said, there weren't any officers available."
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has 85.26 % from 811 votes. More jokes about: animal, cop, death, time
Why is there no gambling in Africa? -Too many Cheetahs!
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has 60.60 % from 264 votes. More jokes about: animal
A lion once put his head inside the mouth of Chuck Norris.
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has 45.58 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris
Who robs banks and squirts ink? Billy the Squid.
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has 56.86 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q: What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus? A: I want to hold your hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand.
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has 46.20 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: animal
Yo mamma so fat and scary, Godzilla watches "yo mamma" movies!
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has 52.18 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: animal, fat, insulting, Yo mama
Where did the mooron take the baby cow to eat? To the calf-ateria.
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has 47.37 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: animal
If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in bed with a mosquito.
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has 68.45 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal, work
Johnny, George, and Bert were driving along in their pickup when they saw a sheep caught in the fence with its hind end up in the air. Bert said, "I wish that was Sharon Stone." George echoed, "I wish it was Demi Moore." Little Johnny sighed, "I wish it was dark..."
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has 54.49 % from 147 votes. More jokes about: animal, little Johnny
The Taco Bell Chihuahua, a Doberman and a Bulldog are in a bar having adrink when a great-looking female Collie comes up to them and says, "Whoever can say liver and cheese in a sentence can have me." So the Doberman says, "I love liver and cheese." The Collie replies, "That's not good enough." The Bulldog says, "I hate liver and cheese." She says, "That's not creative enough." Finally, the Chihuahua says, "Liver alone . . . cheese mine."
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has 65.86 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: animal