Joke #4958

"Grandma, in the greengrocery they have that thick and that long cucumber." Deaf grandma answers,"be sure he'll also marry you."
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How do you know if your wife wears tights in bed? Her toes curl up when you screw her.
Vote: has 38.74 % from 41 votes. Send joke:

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Man to a woman: "Do you know the difference between a blowjob and a cheeseburger is?" Woman: "No." Man: "Lets have lunch sometime…"
Vote: has 62.22 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

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Q: How do you make your wife scream while having sex? A: Call her and tell her.
Vote: has 65.03 % from 544 votes. Send joke:

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As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman." She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?" A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".
Vote: has 71.16 % from 450 votes. Send joke:

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A bus carrying nuns crashes over a cliff , all are killed!  They all line up at the pearly gates and ST peter stands there with his book. He calls the first nun up and says "Have you ever touched a penis" ,she replies "I only ever touched one with my index finger." He says "Well give one hell mary and dip your finger in the holly water and go throught the gates." He calls the second nun and says "have you ever touched a penis." She replies "I did touch one once with my left hand."  He says "well give three hell marys dip your hand in the holly water and go through the gate." Next thing a nuns comes running through all the othere nuns knocking this over and pushing all the othere nuns out of the way. ST Peter says "What's all the hurry?" The nun replies "Well I would like to gargle before sister mary dips her arse in the holly water."
Vote: has 73.56 % from 40 votes. Send joke:

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Q: Why do bunnies have soft sex? A: They have cotton balls.
Vote: has 58.75 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

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She’s got her very own method of birth control. She takes her make-up off.
Vote: has 47.49 % from 66 votes. Send joke:

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One day, an old guy gets on a bus. Several minutes later a punk kid with red, green, and orange hair gets on. The kid notices that the old man keeps staring at him. "What you staring at, old man? Ain't you ever done anything wild in your time?" "Yeah. I screwed a parrot once. I was wondering if you were my son?"
Vote: has 63.45 % from 51 votes. Send joke:

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Q: Why do women have two holes so close together? A: In case you miss.
Vote: has 64.35 % from 88 votes. Send joke:

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A man goes to the doctor and says "I need birth control for my 10 year old daughter" The doctor replies "She's 10 years old and sexually active?" The man says" Active? Hell no! Most of the time se just lies there and cries."
Vote: has 52.41 % from 33 votes. Send joke:

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