"Grandma, in the greengrocery they have that thick and that long cucumber."
Deaf grandma answers,"be sure he'll also marry you."
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The four words most hated by men during sex?
‘Is it in yet?’
On the beach, how can you recognise a guy who uses an inflatable sex doll?
He doesn’t stare at the bikinis, he stares at the beach balls.
The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette.
Q: What's the worst part about sex?
A: When they wake up!
One day Jane met Tarzan in the jungle. She was very attracted
to him and during her questions about his life she asked him
how he managed for sex.
"What's that?" he asked.
She explained to him what sex was and he said, "Oh, I use a
hole in the trunk of a tree."
Horrified, she said, "Tarzan, you have it all wrong. I'll
show you how to do it properly."
She took off her clothes,
laid down on the ground and spread her legs wide.
"Here," she
said, "You must put it in here."
Tarzan removed his loincloth, stepped closer and then gave her
an almighty kick, right in the crotch.
Jane rolled around in agony.
Eventually she managed to gasp,
"What the hell did you do that for?"
"Checking for bees!" said Tarzan.
Two old men hobble into the pub.
One says, ‘I’ve heard Guinness puts lead in your pencil. Shall we try some?’
‘All right,’ says the other.
‘But, to be honest, I’ve got nobody to write to.’
Sex is when a guys communication,
enters a girls information,
to increase the population,
for a younger generation,
do you get the information...
or do you need a demonstration.
Q: How do you find a blind man at a nude beach?
A: It’s not hard.
Q: What do you call a roman warrior after oral sex?
A: Gladiator.