Joke #2562

A wife catches her husband masturbating under the shower and approaches him. The husband: Oh dear, it was so dirty that I had to rub it so hard... it almost hurts!
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has 50.05 % from 94 votes. More jokes about: sex

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One day Sven walks into the local pub and announces, "Well boys Svens is getting married." As you can imagine all of Sven's' friends were very happy for Sven's good fortune and they asked, "Who's the lucky girl?" Sven replied, "Well I am a marrying Madge." Well, this upset all of Sven's friends because Madge was nothing but a slut, and they all cried. "Sven you can't marry Madge, she's not a nice girl!" "Sven replied, "Oh ya, Sven's in love and he's a getting married." And his friends persisted, "Sven, Madge is a woman of low morals." Sven just grinned and replied, "Oh ya ya ya, but I love Madge." Finally, his friends had enough and in unison cried out, "But Sven, Madge has been screwed by every man in town!" "Oh ya ya ya," said Sven, "But it's not that big of a town."
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has 63.51 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: bar, marriage, sex
What’s the difference between erotic and kinky? Erotic is using a feather. Kinky is using the whole chicken.
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has 50.98 % from 87 votes. More jokes about: sex
Q: How is spinach like anal sex? A: Chances are if you're forced to have it as a child you are probably going to hate it as an adult.
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has 45.29 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: age, black humor, food, kids, sex
Kids in the back seat cause accidents; accidents in the back seat cause kids.
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has 69.46 % from 177 votes. More jokes about: sex
Wife: My hubby & I have, what he calls-Olympic s*x. Friend: Wow, must be a terrific s*x life? Wife: Not really. It only happens once in 4 years.
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has 74.79 % from 316 votes. More jokes about: sex
Q: Why was the blonde girl's belly button bruised? A: Because blonde men are dumb too.
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has 69.85 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: blonde, men, sex, stupid, women
Q: How do you know a gay guy has farted? A: He needs to change his pants afterward.
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has 40.51 % from 61 votes. More jokes about: dirty, disgusting, fart, gay, sex
Maths is like s*x... ADD the bed MINUS the clothes DIVIDE the legs and pray you don't MULTIPLY.
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has 61.01 % from 223 votes. More jokes about: math, sex
Yo momma's clitoris is as long as my dick.
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has 54.20 % from 67 votes. More jokes about: dirty, sex, Yo mama
A newlywed couple just moved into their new house. One day, the wife asked her husband, "Honey, one of the bathroom pipes is leaking. Could you fix it?" The husband looked at his wife and said, "What do I look like Mr. Plumber?" A few days went by, and his wife asked for a favor. "Honey, the car won't start. I think it needs a new battery. Could you change it for me?" "What do I look like Mr. Goodwrench?" A couple weeks later, the wife found a leak in the roof. "Honey, there's a leak on the roof. Can you please fix it?" "What do I look like Bob Vila?" He sat down with a beer and watched a game on TV. One rainy weekend, the husband realized the leak on the roof was gone. He went to the bathroom and found that the pipe behind the sink wasn't leaking anymore either. When his wife returned home, the husband asked, "Honey, how come there aren't any more leaks and the car's running?" She replied nonchalantly, "Oh, the other day I ran into one of our new neighbors, Jon. What a nice man. He came over and fixed everything. "Wow, did he charge us anything?" "No, he said he'd do it for free if I either baked him a cake or had sex with him." "Cool. What kind of cake did you make?" "Cake? What the hell do I look like Betty Crocker?"
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has 55.40 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: food, husband, marriage, sex, work