Two blonds were driving to Disneyland.
The sing said: Disneyland Left.
So they started crying and headed home.
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A blonde, a priest, a doctor, a nurse, a brunette, a redhead, a lawyer, a rabbi, a musician, a farmer, a lawyer, an accountant, a Mexican, an Indian, a Chinaman, an Irishman, an Englishman an American, A Russian, an Iraqi, Hilary Clinton, Bill Clinton, Sarah Palin, George W Bush, Osama Bin laden and Barack Obama walked into a bar.
The barman said, "Hang on a minute, is this some sort of joke?"
Q: What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells?
A: Pregnant.
Q: How can you tell that a blonde been baking chocolate chip cookies?
A: There are M&M shells all over the floor.
Q: What do you get when you find a dead blonde in a closet?
A: The hide and seek champion of 1996.
Q: What did the blonde say when she tried driving stick for the first time?
A: "How do you shift this thing?" (you make jacking off motions).
Q:Why don't blondes get coffee breaks?
A:It takes too long to retrain them.
A car was driving down the street when all of a sudden it started swerving.
The car was going back and forth till someone with a cell phone called the police.
A police officer pulled the car over.
A blonde rolls down the window and says, "Officer, I'm so glad you are here. I saw a tree in the road, then I saw another. So I had to swerve to keep from hitting it!"
The officer looks at her, then says, "Ma'am, that's your air freshener."
A brunette doing laundry asked her blonde friend to help her find a match for her sock.
The blonde replied, "What for? Are you going to set it on fire!"
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Q: What do you call a blonde chick standing on her head?
A: A brunette.
A guy had a date with this really hot blonde.
He wanted a tan, so he went up on his roof and stripped because he didn't want a tan line.
But he fell asleep and woke up three hours later with a sunburn, especially on his d**k.
He puts lotion on it, wraps it up and gets ready for his date.
The blonde comes over, they make dinner and are watching a movie when the sunburn on the guy's d**k really starts to hurt.
So he excuses himself to the kitchen, where he pours milk on his d**k to alleviate the burn.
The blonde, who has followed him, peeks in the kitchen and says to herself, "So that's how they load them."